I would need to have a certain level of trust with them first before I dive into that kind of conversation. They need to show that they have certain skills in listening & understanding in order for me to consider being intimate with them in a physical and emotional way
It’s definitely going to take some work. It almost seems taboo.
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I’ve been in a long term relationship, but I feel like sometimes it can be difficult because I want her to perceive me as strong and powerful and I care about her perception of me so it feels challenging to have these conversations openly but I think it’s something I can move past if I push myself to
The idea was horrifying at first because it happened during the first time we were trying to have sex. When she asked what happened, I simply said “I don’t know”. We talked a bit and I realized that her listening to my answer was a win in itself which helped me feel better about talking about it
My main problems are on the first sexual experience with a new partner, but I would be concerned talking about the fact we might be having sex that night would spoil the moment and maybe be presumptuous. However, my second experiences often go much better than first and that’s probably because we’ve talked about it after a bad first experience, so maybe I should just get that talk out the way before the first experience.
It’s embarrassing to have the issue in the first place. What fills me with confidence is that I’m not the only user of this app and that collectively I can see people owning it and being open. I am gonna make it clear next time I go in, acceptance is the first step
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Well not ideal, I always try to get it out of the way because I’m anxious that they’ll be disappointed. And then they can choose whether they want to continue chat chatting with me or whether they want to move on
That’s something I’m open for never tried it
I’ve been married to someone whom I’m really attracted. I struggle from time to time, sometimes furring longer periods, to get it up and luckily we can talk about me feeling stressed and anxious, but at the same time when reading this course I realised that my approach is to tackle ED if/when it happens, instead of taking control in advance by eg. letting my husband know that I feel stressed and are in my head which my affect me and is negative and that it has nothing to do with him or us. I will try to let him know about my status before sex instead of during when we have sex, I think this will allowed me to release some tension and help me to be more in the moment with him.
Talking about the issues is hard for me, and being vocal about it is a challenge.
I typically am terrible with communication as a whole. I come from a family that is very dysfunctional, and communication among other things was something we didn’t do well. In pursuit of rebuilding my mind and my confidence, this is a major point I know I need to work on for the sake of my relationship as it’s dying, and for my future ones to come.
They’ll find out eventually, no need to discuss it beforehand lol
it’s pretty tough to show these issues, communicating these things isn’t easy. they’ll know when it happens.
Not using “you” statements is huge, because a huge problem is her feeling badly about it happening
To be honest, I avoid these discussions as much as possible. These situations make me feel less confident in my manhood. And trying to discuss sometimes leaves a feeling of judgement.
I have discussed at length but recently identified to her it’s a mental issue on my part. She doesn’t totally understand but is getting it more and more
It’s a big turn off having to bring it up. I like to wait a little first.
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I don’t mind mentioning it really if I’m feeling comfortable with them
Way easier to bring it up first, takes so much stress out and has meant it often ends up working anyway!
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I feel really uncomfortable. I feel like they have to suffer because of me and shouldn’t need to go through with talking about it. My wife has said in the past it’s something I need to figure out but I know she wants to help. But telling her I get anxious or may not be able to perform, doesn’t that just kill the mood?
I last had this conversation after we were intimate and I lost my erection. It was very difficult and I felt vulnerable. She told me to just relax which is frustrating to me because it is so much more than simply relaxing. I think going forward I will mention that I may struggle to keep hard so I want to keep things low key and enjoy intimacy without the goal of penetration. Perhaps I will actually suggest that we avoid penetration and ask that we see how sexy that would be just to enjoy each others bodies for an evening
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