As an encouragement you just laid out pretty self aware items in this post. Even repeating what you wrote when using “I” statements could be a good start. Identifying and being brave enough to share in this setting is a great step!
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Both parties must look into themselves and not look for issues in the other partner that’s when things get heated coz your projecting there flaws out instead of projecting your own flaws. Both sides Got to be vulnerable to get a mutual conflict resolved
I can certainly think of a few. I often times avoid conflict with my partner and to some degree caretake so as to avoid arguments or even keeping her comfortable. I’ve felt that my openness in this regard, or lack thereof, is directly related to my ED. This activity spoke to me directly.
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Need to think about needs more than just feelings
I can get really defensive and/or shut down in a difficult conversation. It might be that I let my stress chemicals take over and paralyze me, rather than taking a few deep breaths, calming down and asking questions rather than jumping to conclusions and assuming that I’m to blame for the conflict.
Misunderstandings and wanting to solve things right away before hearing her needs
Sometimes she just needs someone to listen to her / vent. But my brain often goes to problem solving mode which leads to even more problems as I’m not hearing her. Throughout the conversation I ask what she needs from me - someone to listen or someone to help problem solve. Most of the time she knows how to solve the problem at doesn’t need me to do it. Having her feel heard has made a huge difference.
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I need to be able to share my thoughts and feelings without being blamed or told im wrong. He doesn’t seem interested in him being a part of the solution unless the solution involves me changing/ignoring my behaviors, thoughts and feelings. Basically im the problem and he does nothing wrong so when i fix everything about me i wont feel how im feeling anymore and it will be clear he does nothing wrong.
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Conflict with work, and with how
People conduct themselves online
I need to be more open about my and others needs I. Relationships - when in person. I need to work on anxiety when apart
I used to be very difficult to approach with issues in my 20s. I would either shut down, get defensive or blow up. Working on my own self worth helped a lot. I used to believe that if I had done something wrong that I was a bad person with no value.
Maturing, learning to respect the feelings of others and giving myself permission to be human and make mistakes (that might upset people occasionally) have all helped me view conflict as an important and necessary part of healthy relationships that can deepen your bond through improved mutual understanding. I rarely have arguments now tbh because if I annoy someone and they tell me, I apologize sincerely and don’t torture myself for screwing up so it just gets resolved in the moment.
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I need to work on listening to my partner and also how to share my feelings and what I need without it coming across as being defensive or attacking.
I need to work on asking better more intimate questions. I liek to listen but sometimes I sit there blankly not sure what to say
Several, asking better questions. Not being silent/stunned when talked to.
I need to be more direct and avoid gaslighting.
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Being able to handle heavy conversations and make my wife feel like she’s being listened to
Asking for what I need
My partner and I recently opened our relationship. When one of us goes on a date it understandably brings up feelings of jealousy, loneliness and resentment in the other. We both need to work on OWNING those internal reactions and sharing them in a way that is gentle and exploratory…
Not feeling the dread of having to discuss something
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I need to work on prioritising my needs and ensuring they are met regardless of my mind telling me to caretake and avoid the conflict
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