Not anxious but erections just vanished. No pills, potions or lotions have brought them back, despite feeling excited
My inner critic starts hours before when the thought of sex comes into my mind, and continues throughout the entire process. Constantly asking me whether or not I’m going to get hard, to check if I’m hard, reminding me to get hard.
My mind always asks if I will be able to get it up and ultimately that happens
My inner critic isn’t a much as a voice as it is just an ensuing wave of panic. Constantly reminding me about how out of depth I am and how it’s probably going to go wrong somehow. Or how I’m in some way shape or form messing something up no matter what it is I’m doing.
I feel like I don’t really have an inner critic, its just me being disappointed in myself like me talking to myself as a “realist” but its not declarative statements or bullying. Its just like I’m afraid of not getting it up, should I create an inner critic so I can separate my confident self from my destructive thoughts?
My inner critic feels like another me talking right next to my ear. And as the sex goes on it tells me to control myself or I’ll finish to quick or go limp.
It’s me lying to myself saying you’ve got this but not believing it
I am naturally a very tough self-critic, and probably put too much pressure on myself to basically be perfect in all aspects of my life. I know that part of this is to avoid letting my wife down.
The voice in my head also immediately questions any desires I have to have sex-it stops me from initiating.
My inner critic is a toxic version of myself that whispers me that it’s not going to work out. That your dick is numb and permanently fucked up, that you won’t get an erection, that you’ll have no sensation in it, that your pleasure in sex is much lower than that that others derive from it. That you have no libido. That this is permanent. That she will leave.
He’s me in my head asking why I’m even trying I’m just going to embarrass myself. In the middle of an encounter he’s telling me just relax, all men can get erections, just concentrate.
It’s a version of me that’s more nervous and cautious about everything, and pessimistic. It comes in when I am enjoying things, as a way to sort of actively stop me from enjoyment.
closed my eyes, took about 7 deep breaths, focused on things i’m confident about when going to see a partner. My inner critic disappeared whilst doing this exercise. However, I am alone and not around company so, I scared it won’t work the same in a real situation.
I never paid attention to that voice. He’s not much of a communicator aside from cursing like a sailor on a sinking sub when I can’t get hard or keep it up.
My inner critic kicks in as soon as I’m starting to get pleasure and makes statements like “You’re going to go soft” and then the critic takes control
The voice sounds like myself. Ive always had low self esteem and i think the inner critic tries to hurt me before someone else does
Why do you even bother? Do you even love her? How did you ever make her pregnant!? Just stay downstairs until she’s asleep, then you won’t have to try - because you will fail anyway.
My inner critic is just me talking to myself in my head. It sometime likes to plan ahead, especially if the sex position currently is becoming a bit too long and boring. Sometimes it will literally just wonder way off topic and just think about what am I going to do the next day or what food should I eat and what should I buy. I feel as if my inner critic sets up a different priority list as soon as the sex drags on even a little. That’s when I notice I’m not even hard anymore and things kind of just get awkward so I’ll have to do some foreplay instead with her instead so that at least she feels good.
Not sure if it has a voice as such but it feels like the inner critic is in my brain telling me in a low and condescending tone that my partner will not enjoy what I am doing, that I don’t know what I am doing and that in the end I will fail miserably no matter how hard I try. In the end this leaves me always anxious and doubting everything, my best friend stays limp I feel like a total looser.
My inner critic reminds me that I have a hard time getting it up and keeping it up. Once a sexual encounter starts it says “run before they find out you can’t get it up”
Just like many stated in this discussion, hours before my mind would be racing with am I able to get hard tonight or how come I don’t feel like I’m in the mood. During work and throughout the day these thoughts would to mind and I would start to feel that anxiousness as well as faster heart rate.