I think identifying the inner critic as being separate from the normal, healthy mind is super valuable to getting past it.
The inner critic sounds like me. He looks like how I see myself on my best days. He’s confident, cocky even. He’s got a dismissive worldly attitude but he’s short tempered and loud when he demands instructions.
My inner critic is like a shadow of myself whispering in my ear, “she wants it man, better not go limp.”, or “she’s only doing this because she thinks this is what you want”. All this is recent of the partner I’ve been with for 8 years.
Beforehand if it was a one night stand or someone I was casually dating, I would get too wrapped up in thinking, “she’s not going to like it how you like it”, or “you have no idea how she likes it.” I’d spend too much time thinking about their pleasure than my own.
The easiest times I’ve gotten it is when I’m hungover because senses are hightened.
The inner critic is saying that you need to get hard. why aren’t you hard. what’s wrong with you. every guy would be dying to be in situation you are in. get angry at me, cause want to satisfy her
I have a very loud and constant inner critic. It causes no end of depression and anxious thoughts. It’s usually my ex wife telling me how terrible I am. I am constantly on the watch to make sure I can try and get erect. It usually whispers to me about how much of a disappointment I am and will be because I can’t get it up. If not that, then most times it tells me how terrible I am for not being able to cum despite how good the sex is. This brings on worry that my wife will start to be disappointed in me, despite her constant affirmations and statements to the contrary. The voice is always larger and behind me, towering over me and making me feel small. It always starts in the hours before sex begins and goes until well after sex finishes
Mine has been summarized quite well by others. If it were my horse, I’d put it down.
my inner critic has been there since high school. It’s a small little man in my head that was born from one situation when I was in my mid-teens where I couldn’t get it up because of issues with a condom. I abstained from using condoms since then, with some luck here and there, but the little man was always there. Sometimes I got the better of him and the condom went on smoothly. He has since come back after being silent for many years. My girlfriend of 7 years recently decided to stop using the pill - which means condoms - and now the little man is back stronger than ever. We were having good sex without them for some time, although much less than before, but always fearful of the risks of course. Now that she demands we use one, the little man is there always reminding me about previous situations (and now more frequent ones with my partner) where I’m hard but then lose it when the thought of a condom enters my head. In recent weeks, it’s gone downhill. She’s more understanding thankfully, and foreplay is decent, but the little man is constantly talking now…and once we are about to have sex, I lose my erection. This little man is now a big man, but I have to get the better of him once and for all.
You know it’s going to happen.
My body is not letting me
My inner critic is me acting like a bag. Telling me you can’t, you won’t, they won’t like you, they will laugh, they will talk, out of your league
My inner critic is always myself, talking normally or in a slightly mocking tone. Before sex I’m usually ok because I know that I’m good at foreplay and can satisfy with that, but when it comes to her actually wanting penetrative sex, my mind lists all the reasons I won’t get hard: ‘you’ve just come off antidepressants, it’s not going to work’, ‘you’re too dehydrated’, or the voice directs me to previous dissatisfyingsexual experiences that haven’t gone well because of not being able to get hard.
I used to enjoy sex until one day i failed to keep my erection.That day onwards i got stuck in this vicious cycle.I don’t think i have a critic inside me but my heart races and i loose control over my muscles.Anxiety kicks in and game over!
Mind you i have been married for 14 years and never had this problem so far.
My inner critic is a soft sad voice that repeatedly begs me to disappear completely. To leave the room and the person and the situation and be alone where it’s safe and there’s no risk.
My inner critic is a soft, sad, tired voice that repeatedly begs for me to disappear completely. To leave the person, room, situation and sex altogether. To be safe and alone and to never try.
My inner critic is always just a questions of hey will you get it up tonight. I constantly say yes I will and dismiss it but the inner critic just keeps asking the question. However I always thought it was myself asking these questions, not a part of my brain I can’t control.
My inner critic is a voice in my head that tells me this might happen again when I got PTSD while I was wearing condom and my dick went soft. Sometimes I convince myself not to key into the thought process and sometimes end up drinking up just to not have such thoughts
If I attempt sex with a new partner and do not get an erection, then that sets up future encounters with the anxiety of not being able to perform again. I don’t struggle with other aspects of sex & it’s very pleasurable, foreplay, oral sex, etc. So, it’s a bummer when I can’t get and maintain an erection to pleasure myself or my partner.
I’ve decided to view mine as Plankton from SpongeBob to give it the lack of credit it deserves.
For me, i think the inner critic is none other than myself. I always think about why is it not up yet. We are already in foreplay, why isn’t it up? She’s naked and I’m about to get my pants down, why isn’t it up? Will I lose erection while I put on the condom? Will it go away mid-way during sex? These are the questions which constantly bother me.
When I am about to have sex, all I can think about is how disappointed my wife will be. She will think she’s unattractive and not good enough because I can’t get it up. I try to focus on her, but when it starts going limp I can feel my inner voice shaking its head and It tells me she is disappointed.