my inner critic sounds like me. he’s burrowed somewhere deep in my head, but his voice spreads throughout my body, into my gut, into my groin, and everything stops. the inner critic becomes the only part of me with a voice, with agency, with control over the situation. it doesn’t matter what I want, or what I feel I want, but what it wants to do, and that’s shut everything down. you can’t fail if you don’t try, it says. you’re going to fail anyway, so why even bother putting in the effort. you’re not good enough. you never were. you never will be. just give up. this is what it says to me. and everything I’ve built, everything I’ve accomplished, everything I’ve become, every positive sexual experience I’ve had in my past, my confidence, my strength, my self-worth–it all shrivels up. it all disappears. it’s as if none of it ever happened, and all I am are my failures in this moment. my failures and nothing else.
My inner critic is my own voice. That’s why I feel it can get entangled as though it is just a ‘normal thought’. Once in bed or the sex begins with kissing, I immediately start to think about my penis. I then will know straight away if it’s going to get erect or not. If I don’t feel that movement, then the critic starts. ‘We need to get this up’ ‘What can we do to get you erect’. It’s almost myself panicking and all my thoughts trying to find a solution in what to do but I don’t have one. Then eventually it turns to ‘you’re not getting it up so stop’ ‘she’s going to be sad and disappointed in you’ ‘when this stops it’s going be uncomfortable and awkward’
Before sex it’s whispering or questioning whether I’m aroused, or will I bet able to get aroused. It’s asking me to check in with every touch whether that’s the thing that’s going to do it. It’s causing me to have hyper awareness of the situation and what it will lead up to. By the time I get to sex, it’s like it’s saying I told you I so, I knew you couldn’t do it.
My inner critic is like a little worm in my head who is full of anxiety and worry about not getting hard and pleasing the woman I am with. He is constantly saying “oh god what if it doesn’t work,” and thinks about what it might feel like after if I don’t get hard.
My inner critic feels like someone watching over me from the sky, with a powerful voice. They are strong, but do not know me. I decide my life and my actions, not this voice.
My inner voice tells me hours before sex that it won’t work and that I’m going to fail. Time to tell that voice to go to hell. I got this
This is me. I get exactly what you are saying here.
My thoughts lately:
-if I drink too much, I’m anxious the next day. Gotta avoid that.
-more exercise, less caffeine
-gotta get more sleep.
-need vitamins. Maybe I have a vitamin D problem in the winter, maybe I need ashwaganda and CBD oil to reduce anxiety
-No more horny movies or lust for other women (I’m a Christian), gotta delete TikTok. I can’t let her think I’m attracted to other women and then can’t get it up for her.
-gotta meditate, pray, get my mind right
-should I masterbate to prove I can get hard and stay hard still? Or would that release desire I need to save for tonight?
Then I get home and it’s what I’m thinking about all evening because it’s been motivation for my daily routine, but all that build up makes me think about ED all day, even if it’s subconscious.
My inner critic is quiet. But I worry about worrying. I get anxious about something in my past (sin, I’m a Christian) and then I’m anxious I’ll get anxious about it in the bedroom. Often I will. That overthinking brings me out of it and makes me not excited about having sex, just longing for better days.
My inner critic has my voice. It gets worried when things are heating up and my penis isn’t hard yet. It’s crazy how I would see it in movies where people would just have sex in the back of a car with a moments notice if the mood strikes.
Especially if she starts grabbing my penis and it just kinda laying there.
Then I start thinking “what is she thinking right now”.
And then the pressure is on. Lets make this fucking happen.
At that point it becomes more about ‘doing a good job’ and getting it over with.
It’s especially frustration it I can get it up nicely and we having sex for a bit. And she is really enjoying herself. And then it goes soft again.
And I’m thinking, for fuck sakes, I am in bed with this chick who wants to have sex with me. This is ridiculous!
Long before sex, it’s a whisper. “Are you sure you can do this? Are you going to mess up like last time?” I feel I can push these aside and focus on other things.
But when it comes time for sex, I’m suddenly on a tightrope, and every falter is met with shouts. “Why did you go soft?! You were so close! Do you even like sex?! What’s wrong with you?! You’re disappointing her! She’s going to think you find her unattractive! Get yourself together!” These feel impossible to push aside and quickly take over my mind. I try to relax, but my discomfort becomes evident, my partner notices, and now we have to stop because it’s obvious I’m not ok.
Then it’s back to a whisper, making me doubt myself, but now with the painful truth that it was right.
My inner critic has my own voice. He has doubts about maintain erection during foreplay. Its neither quiet nor shouting but it says to not give up
When sexual activity starts I mostly physical sensations of anxiety or numbness, my voice saying come on don’t fuck this up what is wrong with you how can you have been so aroused today thinking about this then not able to feel that in the moment, I feel disconnected not able to enjoy it, frustrated angry at myself guilty for being a disappointment. I don’t understand why I can’t do what I want to do when it matters
My inner critic will start telling me in my own voice that I am going to lose my erection and its going to be awkward and embarrassing again and to stay hard or I will ruin the moment, I fixate on that and get anxiety.
My inner voice is a mix of my ex and myself. My whole life I have been a people pleaser, and that went for the bedroom as well. The first time my penis didn’t stay hard during sex, my ex got really upset cried, and started an argument about it. Ever since then, whenever I feel the slightest bit of anxiety about it not working, it doesn’t go hard. Her own insecurities scared me into thinking that once my penis went soft, it was because I didn’t like my partner or that I was not good enough
My inner critic is my voice that tells men things are going to work out or you won’t maintain your erection.
I think my inner critique is my own voice but angry and shouting
My inner critic is myself trying to prep my “Johnson” for some motive. Sometimes I’ll have memories on times I didn’t do so well in the bedroom.
Are you gonna be able to get it up without pill
Don’t think about my erections, just try to enjoy it.
Am i losing my erections? Ohh no i cant feel a strong one.