What does your inner critic sound like?

Wow. My inner critic is myself, with my face, but not me. It’s like he is staring at me and and speaking, speaking in a very tough love kind of tone, and he is bigger and seems more powerful than me.

Mine says ‘you need to keep this erection, it will be so embarrassing if you lose it’. It’s like it wants me to keep it, but then it brings my erection to my mind and I’m not in the moment anymore, I’m in my head

My inner critic is telling me ‘don’t get drunk, make sure the situation is right, try and find somewhere the right height to get a good angle, is it hard enough, is it still hard? Can I feel enough to stay hard? Is she ok? Does she think I’ve lost it? I haven’t lost it, have I?

It sounds like a cross between me and my father. It’s a combination of scolding, threatening, mocking and disappointment.

My inner critic is my mirror image. He matches my every move. He sits behind me in a room and leans in to offer his thoughts.

My issue is remembering a particularly bad sexual encounter that was humiliating and embarrassing.

Kissing, foreplay. Getting hard, staying hard.

‘Don’t lose it again’

‘Wait you’re losing it, get it back’

‘Dude why can’t you keep it’

There’s no coming back from thoughts like these…

I imagined my voice a small, dark lil person just sulking, being pessimistic; Dressed up in black. And he would tell me to stop it’s not going to work

My inner critic is like this panicked gollum-like creature that I can feel with its hands in my chest and it’s telling me that i won’t be able to get it up in time to actually have sex

My inner critic definitely has a voice…sounds just like me. Constantly saying things like it should have been hard already, you shouldn’t be having this problem, what’s the matter with you.

My inner critic keeps reminding me that my partner needs a physical connection in a relationship yet won’t let me have one

My inner critic is constantly evaluating the state of erection during sex.

It’s like the old psychological trick to “try not to think about something” but the more you do, the more you bring into the focus the subject of what you’re trying to avoid! As a child, my father would tell me, “you cannot focus on what you DON’T want…you have to focus on what you DO want.” He’d say, “whatever you do, don’t think about a pink elephant.” Then’d he check in with me after a minute and let me know that no matter how often I wanted to NOT think about the subject, if I set things up in my head the wrong way, I MUST think about them to NOT think about them. Right? So, my inner critic is constantly telling me that I’m too soft, too small, not manly enough, etc. As soon as I hear those bad thoughts, I have to counter them with, “I can get hard, I will grow larger, I can please her…etc.!” This is easier said that done. But the point is that I must turn my inner critic into my inner motivator.

My inner critic is definitely myself remind me how things didn’t go to plan before. In the moment that’s all I can focus on. But even when sex isn’t eminent, it drives me to question my attraction for my partner.

He’s an unkempt poorly dressed version of myself who wants to keep me in my comfort zone and wants me to take the easy route. I hate that guy!

My inner critic is inside my head. I don’t think it’s usually there until maybe something doesn’t quite feel right. Im usually anxious before it starts, relax enough to get hard just fine (most of the time) but as soon as I’m inside it’s like “does it feel okay? Are you sure it’s fine? Are you as hard as you think you are? This sensation is good it better make you cum soon or else. Are you going to cum? You know she feels bad if you don’t cum it better happen”

My inner critic is like a worm, begging me to please get hard, you can’t fail again. I don’t know what will happen if you keep doing this. Is it going to get even worse? Will you ever have erections again? Are you going to see that disappointed look again? You’ll never be able to have a baby if you can’t get hard.

My inner critic is like a well-meaning but ultimately overbearing parent whose constant badgering only serves to ratchet up frustration and anxiety. I might start off hard but the voices start saying things like “keep it up man”, or “focus!”, which all starts the spiral, especially if there’s the slightest hint that my partner is losing interest.

Hours before sex, I can hear a voice, which seems like my own, asking questions like “What will it be like today? Will I be able to get hard and stay hard?” and saying things like “Ooh, I don’t know. I really want to be aroused but in the moment I just can’t think about anything else except getting hard and staying hard.”

When the sexual time starts, it hits me like a wrecking ball. There is a beautiful woman, lying on the bed in front of me, sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively asking me “Do you want to fuck me?” and I reply “Yes!”, because I really do. But then something happens. I tell her “Yes, I want to fuck you!” and as soon as I think about it, the inner critic comes back, this time it’s a voice from the outside, and it’s almost scolding me: “Are you hard already? Well, it feels like there is no bloodrush towards your groin. When will you get hard? Do you want to reall get hard? Are you really enjoying this right now? Well, I don’t know, because you are not hard. What is this? Do you want to have sex with this beautiful woman? Well, if you don’t, I’m sure she will find a man who would get hard around her in a heartbeat. You are not good enough, you are not enough of a man. If you don’t resolve this problem, it will cause serious problems in your relationship.”

Yeah, the inner critic (ironically) is a huge dick. I want to get rid of him for good. In sex-related-issues specifically, but also in general. It’s holding me back and hast cost me too many of potentially wonderful experiences. This is it, it stops right now. I’m taking back the control over my body, my penis, my erections and everything that is connected to having a wonderful sexual experience with a wonderful partner who means everything to me, and I know I do to her as well.