My inner critic actually came from myself, has my voice and list me to be focused on sensation, to don’t pay attention to my erection, to my partner’s expectation, to don’t think about previous flops… but doing that it pushes me down. It’s like I want to control everything, while I’m actually loosing power. It’s a sort of auto sabotage.
My inner critic says, “You have to impress her. Don’t be a failure here. She’s comparing you to others. You won’t measure up.”
My inner critic says dont loose your erection. If you do your wife will be sad and will hate you.
I try to help it to be up but I it feels numb like there’s nothing. It just let me down and I feel like it’s not gonna work
I’ll often start worrying about sex hours or days before it happens, thinking “what if it doesn’t work etc”. These are just my thoughts, in my voice. At the time, It’s like a physical feeling of dread or fear that sweeps over me that I try to keep at bay but can’t stop happening as much as I try and stop it happening. It sweeps over me like a wave, bringing with it the fight or flight feelings of beating heart, breathing, stress etc. Kills the erection and takes all the fun out of things obviously! Am working on breath work- that helps plus pills but it is difficult to solve with a completely supportive or helpful partner (she finds the whole thing very difficult and it often cause arguments and pain).
My inner critic is someone hanging over me, or next to me, sometimes just inside gnawing at me. Demeaning and degrading in tone, asking what is wrong with me, and why am I think way. I think it is mostly myself, sometimes mixed with an older male figure. Sometimes plain well clothed, other times messy. It doesn’t yell but is in the middle
My inner critic is my own voice always talking about staying hard and making sure I don’t mess up this time.
My inner voice is usually a direct thought before and during sex “I hope it works this time, I hope I can get it up”. The anxiety takes me right out of enjoying the moment and into my head.
My inner critic keeps asking is it hard enough for penetration. It’s telling me to feel it to check. It is shrinking and my IC is saying “I thought so. You’ll never get hard enough because someone is watching. You are feeling shy. It’s not going to work because you will be rejected. She won’t enjoy you inside her. You won’t be able to cum.”
It definitely sounds like myself as an inner worm. I honestly rarely hear it. I can only describe it as a blanket that is over and around me slowly suffocating me rather than a voice telling me hateful things.
I think the inner critic is just the depressed version of me, quick to give up, easy to surrender, and generally hopeless.
It is the smaller, more grey me, that takes the one step back when things seem getting out of my control
My inner critic is my voice throughout the days and weeks after a poor performance. It’s my own voice or it’s me, like a worm, telling myself that I’m not as horny as I used to be and that I don’t get hard like I used to and that this is going to be an ongoing problem no matter what I do. It tells me that even when I have a beautiful woman in front of me literally begging me for sex I didn’t get hard - it tells me I’m disconnected from my dick and that maybe sex just isn’t exciting to me anymore and that this will always be a problem. It’s a constant voice throughout the quiet moments of my day or when I’m on dates.
I have exactly this… ‘just focus’, ‘it might work’, ‘stop thinking about this and start concentrating on what’s happening’
But because I’m having these thoughts, I’m not in the moment…
Generally it’s my voice and it’s trying to be helpful - ‘keep going’, ‘it might work’, ‘stop thinking about this and start being in the movement’. But I’m not in the moment, because I’m having these thoughts…
My inner critic sounds like a nervous version of myself talking to myself about how anxious I am going into it and that “I gotta stay hard I need to stay hard”. It’s more of a worrier than a critic.
My inner critic starts talking to me the day before sex, even after I’ve had sex successfully. He says sure that worked but it may not again. He shouts in my head so loud That I simply cannot focus on sex and literally shake from worry
Why the fuck does this app stop when the screen goes black? I mean WHATTHE FUCK!!! How much do I pay you? And you can’t engineer this simple fix?
My inner critic is more of a fear of going through same situation again - this is quickly mixed with frustration and disappointment in myself and definitely my thoughts are on my dick , waiting for the first signs of going soft …again and the minute I sense that , it’s game over and the frustration of “ok it’s happening again” sets in - it’s happened before that I stopped and focused on getting freaky with my partner and that brought my erection back - but yeah it’s mostly thoughts of fear of reliving the previous experience.
Mine has my own voice, it says “you won’t make it”, “you’re a failure and not worth” with a delusional tone. Then the tone changes, sounds more “hopeful” while saying “just relax, don’t screw it, don’t think about it” , “focus on her, on her lips, on how gorgeous she is”… but this part doesn’t last too long, few seconds and it’s like it gives up on me and goes back to the “it’s not happening…again”, “I am done”, “she’s gonna leave me and she’ll be right”.
This back and forth between encouragement and disappointment tone lasts for a few mins, then the shame kicks in, and the silence… and it kills me inside.