VENT :I think my problems come from being out of place and role

So my girlfriend moved to the UK for a job and shortly afterwards i moved here to join her, we got married and now im waiting for this visa to expire so i can get a working visa and be able to provide or atleast contribute. At this point, i miss everything from my home country because it really isnt that glamorous to live here and to top it off i have no job and basically took the role of cleaner and cook to justify me living off her back.
I think this has put a mental strain on me and blocked me from feeling confident because i am not very active except for cleaning, washing clothes, making breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Whereas in my home country id be the one working all day still doing some chores like washing clothes or making food but now thats all i can do to help and i think i feel inadequate because of it evwn though there is a perfectly good explanation for why i cant work right now( because i would get kicked out of the country and never be able to join her until she moves back)
Thanks for coming to my ted talk lol

Hey thanks for the TED talk! Sounds like you had some big changes - is this fairly recent?

I’m a domestic guy too at the moment and it can be difficult - but you really are contributing to the relationship. Do you have any hobbies that you did in home country but not doing in UK that you could try and pick up again - just to being something new to your day and get out a bit?

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Hi thanks for the support !!
Yes i moved here about 3/4 months ago and the new place feel wore off about 2 months in.

I was very handy in my home country, i would work on all kinds of things in and around the house and if i wasnt busy with that i was busy fixing my truck of stuff like building shelves for my wife’s plants but this side we dont have the space we used to or even tools or something to fix :joy::rofl: i was a huge gamer tho and i did bring my pc with but it doesnt feel the same usually gaming would be my off switch after work through the day but now it just feels like im wasting time but there’s not much else to do.

While writing this i kinda figured that all the time alone with my thoughts mind be a factor as well because now i have enough time to hyper fixate on negative thoughts and not have that dopamine from finish a task or sitting qith a problem at work and getting through it.

I have to say writing this stuff out has been kind of a game changer like it feels good to express these things and the more i write the more i get to think about everything and more often than not i realise something ive written isnt exactly what i feel when i read it back and just erasing it and re wording or seeing the blank spots makes me connect dots and get to a deeper understanding of whats bothering me or what im feeling or zoning in on

Hi thanks for the support !!
Yes, i moved here about 3/4 months
ago and the new place feel wore off
about 2 months in.
I was very handy in my home country,
i would work on all kinds of things in
and around the house and if i wasnt
busy with that i was busy fixing my
truck of stuff like building shelves
for my wife’s plants but this side we
dont have the space we used to or
even tools or something to fix
i was a huge gamer tho and i did
bring my pc with but it doesnt feel the
same usually gaming would be my off
switch after work through the day but
now it just feels like im wasting time
but there’s not much else to do.
While writing this i kinda figured that
all the time alone with my thoughts might be a factor as well because now
i have enough time to hyper fixate on
negative thoughts and not have that
dopamine from finish a task or sitting
qith a problem at work and getting
through it.
I have to say writing this stuff out has
been kind of a game changer like it
feels good to express these things
and the more i write the more i get
to think about everything and more
often than not i realise something ive
written isnt exactly what i feel when
i read it back and just erasing it and
re wording or seeing the blank spots
makes me connect dots and get to
a deeper understanding of whats
bothering me or what im feeling or
zoning in on

I didn’t reply to you messenge the first time so thats why theres a copy :joy::joy::sweat_smile:

Have you thought about volunteering in your area? Pretty sure that will be ok as you won’t be getting paid. Communities are always looking fpr help. Plus its something you can say you have done to contribute in a positive way to boost your mojo. Might lead to employment when you get your work visa. :+1:

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All good - yes I’ve resisted this journaling idea - writing your thoughts down - but it actually does help. This Mojo comments section really good too - just to share feelings and experiences.

All the best with the move!

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