Unsupportive partner

Hey all,
I started mojo about a month ago to try to resolve my ED. When I began the course, I tried explaining to my partner how this is a process, and I need her support in order to complete the course and increase my confidence. However, after a bad sexual experience, she stopped being supportive. She tells me the course isn’t working, I should just stop, I should just give up, and she gets extremely upset whenever we have these negative experiences. What advice do you guys have for pushing through when your partner isn’t supportive and isn’t really helping you through? It’s really hard to find motivation to continue working on myself when the person I’m doing it for doesn’t believe in me. Thank you!


It is really difficult when your partner is not being supportive.
Remember though when you say you are doing this for her, you’re doing it for yourself even more so.
Well done joining the community and trying to make improvements.
You need to praise yourself more…

My wife has changed between being understanding and supportive to being quite harsh and back so I can understand you completely.
One time she told me this my issue to fix and I needed to get it sorted. This did nothing but set me back further.
My advise is and it’s not all that easy, reassure her that this issue is nothing to do with how you feel about her. Tell her how hot, sexy she is and reassure her that you feel the same way about her as you have always done.
Keep following the program, I find it really helps. But don’t be afraid to try Viagra, Cialis etc I’ve had good results.
Try and take the focus off sex itself. Focus on her, introduce a toy if she’s ok with that. Use a cockring etc
Your not on your own going through this.

It’s really not just you. Erections involve two people unless you’re just masturbating with no one else around. The fact she isn’t supportive makes it unsafe to get it up.

As a single gay male I have zero trouble when I’m with a guy who doesn’t make it a “get it up or else” scenario, and we are just exploring and having fun. If I’m with a bottom who acts like I’m just there to give him a dick or I’m useless, I won’t be able to get it up. Avoid the toxic people. Sounds like your partner is one.


This is very difficult. I had this same issue with my wife. Made me very insecure and hurt that she wouldnt be supportive. She wanted me to ‘just take care of it’. Just like you said. It caused a lot of fighting. It basically came down to her own insecurities about being ‘unable to get her husband hard’. I sent her this link and it actually seemed to help her get over her hang ups.


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Hey. Even I feel a bit frustrated about your partner’s response.

But giving them the benefit of the doubt, I’d say they are looking for you to seek a specific treatment and you seeking support is not what they had in mind.

This might be a bit of a challenge, but my suggestion is for you to show them what mojo is about. Maybe let them read some of what you and others wrote here in the community.

I did this with my partner and we cried together and she absolutely loved it.

I have also asked her support and I must say that knowing I have her support means more to me than anything I’ve learned on mojo so far. We made love recently and it was lovely.

One thing I did was to ask her to tell me it’s ok when I don’t stay hard and struggle with penetration. Usually she would turn all quiet and sulky. She was really happy I asked her to do that.

I’d love to know what your status is now regarding this.

This is my issue too. Sometimes my wife is supportive and then other times she gets upset and turns over or leaves. Says it’s my issue to fix. I wish she would see it as our issue to get through together. She recently told me I should just fake my confidence as that’s what she likes. But it’s hard to be confident when it’s like being in bed with a couple of moustraps. You can’t exactly get relaxed knowing at any moment you might do or say the wrong thing (or in my case, my hands and/or nose sometimes get cold with anxiety) and then it’s like instant shutoff. I wish she’d tell me she’ll be there for me for however long it takes and with a gentle attitude. I understand it’s frustrating to her, and me being soft is like a billboard telling her that I’m not attracted to her when in fact I’m incredibly attracted to her. It’s very frustrating.