Hey everyone. Im almost 24 and I’ve been with my gf for almost a year now and things are a little bit shit with our sex life. Since the start I haven’t been able to get hard around her. I thought it might be performance anxiety at the start, but soon realised it was something else. I checked with the doctors, no medical issues. After a looooot of digging online, I realised the only thing left was porn induced erectile dysfunction because I used to watch porn heavily since I was 12 and masturbate every day (more on some days).
I’ve realised even with porn I cannot get fully hard. I get semis at best which can last a few seconds but need that constant stimulation to even stay in that state. It’s severely affected our relationship (almost broken up a few times over it).
I’ve been reading everywhere online, even one of my friends told me what they tried - a 90 day no porn/fapping treatment. I’ve tried it before but I was wondering if anyone had opinions on this, am I allowed to cum during this time from whatever my gf does? (I’ve been using pills as a temporary fix so I can get hard kind of).
Also I’m about 15 days into the no porn and masturbation and feel like my dick is just completely dead. No morning wood. Not really feeling horny. I’ve read that this is normal during this time. Anyone who’s experienced this, do you mind sharing what the recovery path looked like or how long it took?
I’m in nearly the exact same situation although recently out of a breakup that was linked to these issues, so firstly I would say be thankful you have somebody to hold and work through this with you (trust me everyone is not as understanding) be sure to communicate with her and make sure she feels wanted because it’s tough on partners too
I did try no fap and I did find it quite tough at different points for different reasons at the start I was exactly like you, it felt dead and I lost all appetite to even masturbate, but as time went on I began to become frustrated in the lack of progress I was seeing and my urges for porn / masturbation had come back but I knew it was an issue because I did not have that same drive when thinking about real sex…
Long story short I lasted to about day 70 and then I had a string of bad days and I gave in which lead to a couple of relapses over about 2 weeks, I’m about a week free now
Not sure I’m the best person to give advice as I’m also a person struggling with this but I would say avoid all types of porn and whatever your individual triggers, I think my mistake last time was cutting out masturbation all together now I’m going to no fap for a month to get back to baseline and then in slowing introduce masturbation that is driven my healthy fantasy and natural senses
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That sucks to hear man. This stuff really sucks and what’s even worse is that no one talks about just how life changing porn can be when you are younger.
It’s crazy you made it to day 70, I can’t imagine getting that far. Did you see any improvements within those 70 days? Got me kind of nervous that nothing will actually fix it now
I’d be lying if I said I felt massive improvements (note that I didn’t have the opportunity for sex during the proses so hard to judge the process) but the reality is we spent years doing a damaging thing, less than 3 months is not always gonna be long enough to fix it
I also feel like over these recents months I’ve been more depressed than ever which I feel has a massive impact on arousal level and ED
one thing I’m trying to work on is not letting this issue control my life (not doing a very good job of tha right now but…) my hope is that once I get my mental health better that will help things
Any discussion with sildenafil/diagram?
If you can’t get hard at all. Certainly worth a visit to a urologist
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Hey man, not sure how much of a help I am to you here but I had the exact same issues in my last relationship last year and I found essentially going cold turkey for around a month or so really really helped me and I was back and kicking afterwards my brain kind of reset. I honestly know what you mean about feeling ‘dead’ but I swear give it another like 2 weeks and it kind of sprung back to life I’d say just try abstain from actually having sex with her for the next little while (in case you’re not really ready and end up feeling worse) and hopefully when you go to have sex again don’t big it up too much in your head and hopefully you’ll be back and kicking. I also used to use like audiobooks and stuff (there’s some on this app) and that all really helped me essentially resensitise to everything
All the best man 
Only other thing I would add is, I think in many ways for me it was an overall dopamine overload porn, tik tok, social media just endlessly scrolling on my phone and a bit of a slug, realistically I remember putting loads of blocks on apps on my phone at the same time and kind of trying to reset my brain to baseline & it honestly did work, probably saved our relationship at that time
Hey man, i am in a similar situation. Its defo the porn man. Used mojo before got better and now a few years on back again coz i have been watching more porn than ever. Fucks ur whole brain chemistry up. Stay strong and resist the urges of porn. Maybe even get into reading erotica to get off, be a easier way than cold turkey
I use Rugiet. Blend of Viagra and Cialis with a little something that helps attraction as well.
Rugiet is less than max dose of C and V but helps me more than either by themselves.