Spectatoring keeping me down

I just starting dating a girl this week. Things are kicking off really well.

The other day we were making out on the couch. I don’t know what my giveaway was, but she asked if everything was okay and that I seemed nervous.

I took the opportunity to be open and honest that I struggle with anxiety and it especially peaks with new partners. As a symptom I have a difficult time getting aroused.

She was really great and gave me oral. It took a while but, I was able to finish.

Last night she came over again. We tried multiple times to have sex but we’re unsuccessful. She would give me oral, I’d relax and get hard. But, she is very tight and I have a big member. Whilst we were trying to get it in, I started becoming anxious and went soft.

She was great and continued reassuring me she was having fun. We tried 2 more times and I tapped out.

When my anxiety hits I don’t experience pleasure. I don’t recognize any touches on my skin. I start to tell myself “this isn’t going to work”, “this is embarrassing”, “she says she’s having fun and everything is okay but how many failures will it take before she gets annoyed”?

I’m hoping that this app will help me become more confident with my erections. I wish I could focus on the pleasure instead of the state of my penis.

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If you are big focus on how turned on she is enjoying your member. Maybe have her try some dirty talk? The encouragement and the sexy whispers from a woman always helps. My wife will do that when she senses I’m getting a little soft. Trust me it works

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I struggle with this too. Something that helps me, is box breathing. It gets me out of my head, and back into my body. The thing to remember too, is that the act of sex, and that whole experience, is not ALL about cumming. It’s about sharing pleasure. Taking that pressure off might help too.

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how do you slip box breathing in these intimacy moments with someone? I find it hard to just ask for a break and do the breathing exercises…