Some specific situations are:
When the room is really quiet, I feel like thereās this tension if thereās no background noise/music.
When Iām 100% sober.
When reaching for a condom it feels like a clock has started where I only have >30 seconds to put it on or its game over bro.
I start getting anxious straight away at the moment. But I mainly get anxious in certain positions. Like when she is wanting to get on top I get very worried that I wonāt be hard enough for her to get on top and then it just starts the vicious cycle.
Not satisfying my partner in a way they would want to be satisfied
Once I start thinking about it, and spectatoring. Usually during foreplay, or if my partner says something about wanting me to cum. Once that expectation has been voiced, I go soft.
I can lose my erections putting on condoms because of the pause in the erotic flow. The same thing can happen when I go down on my partner, not because I donāt enjoy it but there is a pause in physical touch for me and I can lose my erection in that moment.
My erection killer is definitely spectating. Not just w me but with her. If Iām not completely hard does that turn her off. Will I get completely hard. Why isnāt she wet all of It plays a role. When she doesnāt do enough to turn me on. Or just watching waiting for me to get hard. Iāve lost my erection due to one or more those examples during sex.
As soon as I think I maybe having sex I panic.
While in foreplay, often when my partner grabs my penis my inner critic wonders if itās hard enough and how sheāll rate the erection, and this kills it. The transition is also difficult, I start wondering if I will be able to penetrate and, if by any chance I am, if itās going to last!
An ex girlfriend of mine was always really concerned if I couldnāt keep it up because she thought that she was doing something wrong. I think this always lead to me, reassuring her that it wasnāt anything that she was doing, but never really feeling like she believed me. And that certainly feels like it put me in a shitty loop where I started worrying that I was going to have to explain to her again what was happening
Worried it will hurt her
Moving from foreplay to intercourse is the moment that I start spectatoring. I know already itās getting softer and even if I get in, it will last for few moments. I miss so much the time when I was able to have a strong erection that made me feel happy.
It happens to me during transitional periods of sex. Whether it be from foreplay to penetration, one position to the next, I begin to question myself a million times does she like this? Is she bored? Does she want more of something? And I go into a paralysis by analysis instead of enjoying the moment.
When I bottom I really worry that I havenāt cleaned out enough and even when I bottom I donāt have an erection because if that worry in the back of my mind
Often times changing positions can make me lose it.
Moving from foreplay to penetration is when I start to get anxiety
Just knowing itās most likely not going to work as we start. Especially when itās the first time with her. Wondering if maybe it might work and knowing it probably will not. Paying attention to it while you are doing for play with her and not feeling the response and knowing she is not feeling the response. Which some women look at it as your not attracted to her when in fact you are really attracted to her.
Just thinking too much
Iām able to achieve an erection with ED meds but maintaining to climax has been the issue. Iāve been spectating for several weeks now that I feel that my problem has to be mental.
Mine is usually during the transition from foreplay to intercourse. I start getting those negative thoughts and then Iām in my own head.
Iām particularly triggered by certain positions which I feel make me feel small if not fully erect