Situational performance anxiety

Putting a condom on makes me feel watched and judged, making me feel bad about myself.

Missionary position

I’m a gay guy and the most anxious situation is when I see the other guy rock hard so my brain goes ‘you need to be rock hard like him, you can’t go soft’

putting the condom, start thinking that it will not go well

I was abusing Adderoll to have sex longer, and now I am sober and I feel like I am always under performing.

The expectation of me lasting long or when I go in not to come too fast

I have quite frequent bed partners. Usually after a kinky party. It’s a bit hit or miss with how it goes. One specific point, that i see mentioned in others’ comments is changing positions. I had a sexual encounter with a lovely girl, i already had a condom on, and was really hard and aroused by our long foreplay. She straddled me and my member and it was amazing. But then she wanted to change positions to missionary. And that change made me go softer quickly. We managed to finish but it was quite peculiar.

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After a bit of foreplay and ‘it’s time’ the fear of loosing it kicks in almost immediately!

The anxiety of letting her down!

If I hear no, Vincent is very important to me. For no means stop we are done

In four play if I’m not hard immediately, condoms have definitely killed my erection, if my partner stop & asks me what’s wrong that will definitely trigger me. I believe I need a lot of stimulation anyway and if it’s all on me to excite me that will also soften the mood.

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Cocaine use and new girlfriend


My personal triggers are around times where I feel like I need to perform. The moment of putting on a condom, the transition from foreplay to actual sex, or when there has been a lot of talk about performing specific sexual acts previous to the sexual encounter which makes me feel like there is a level of expectation.

I get anxious as soon as it starts I automatically worry it isn’t gonna work I start to panic because I know my partner is gonna wanna start foreplay and I won’t be able to get hard even for that.

Condoms are a trigger but I have been able to maintain an erection with them before. I just find them unsexy and I get in my head that it will go down as soon as I put it on because it doesn’t feel sexy anymore.


Not listening to my body and connecting with what feels great. Forgot to listen to how good it feels.

Being late at night after a few drinks

If I jerked off the same day or the day before it does affect me

As a gay guy the question of who is top or bottom but it shouldn’t really matter