Reprogram your negative thoughts exercise

My girlfriend & I split recently. She said it was lack of a spark, I keep telling myself it was my fault the spark faded because of either performance anxiety or avoiding intimacy (to avoid the embarrassment of going soft during sex). At the end of the day, I won’t ever get an answer to this that I’m satisfied with so what’s best is I just ignore/remove the thought.

Am I turned on enough to get hard is what I think mostly while getting intimate with my partner.

The fact is that I am always turned on, always horny but I keep focusing on my penis too much to check if I have a good erection.
I have enough evidence of fantastic sex and erection comes when I am in the moment with my partner plus the pelvic exercises are really paying off.

She won’t date me if I don’t get and stay hard.

She won’t be satisfied with me if I can’t stay hard throughout sex.

It’s not worth trying because it’s not going to make a difference and I won’t be able to overcome her disappointment

Stop trying to mind read the worst possible thing my girl is thinking when I am struggling

To stop thinking I can’t do it when I’ve done it before

I couldn’t get it up during sex so that means I’m not a man I can’t get it up whenever I want anymore so I’m broken

She will blame herself for the fact I can’t get or stay hard, and I lack the ability to reassure her that it has nothing to do with her. As a result she will tell me to “find someone who does it for me.”

Fortune telling sucks. Once you speak it into existence, the chances of it happening are inevitable. I hold to be able to not even think about it my next encounter

I had a bad few days but hope I can get back

The last two times I had sex with my partner I couldn’t cum because I lost my erection. I overthink when we have sex, it starts well but after a while I fell like I observe myself and lose my erection… we had great sex before, especially when we are on holidays and my mind is not focused on work. I know there is nothing wrong with me, that I need to work hard to be more physically present in the act, to use my body and my sensations more than my thoughts.

Why does this happen to me I know she’s got body image issues because I’m not hard right now and even when I’m turned on at the beginning it doesn’t last as I feel after a while I’m going through the motions

I don’t get why this keeps happening. My wife is frustrated says she doesn’t know what to do to help. I feel like our sex life is so one-sided. That doesn’t help my issue. It’s all about pleasuring her. There has never been any foreplay directed towards me. She is very uncomfortable talking about sex. I asked to see a sex therapist and her response was so they can tell me what I’m doing wrong. I don’t know what to do. We have been married for 20 yrs. She has never been very physical. No hugging or kissing unless I initiate.:man_shrugging:t3:

I always think during sex that every other guy she’s had sex with gets an erection automatically.

The last time I had sex I only had an election for a few minutes. It feels amazing but I worry that my GF is feeling insecure because I can’t stay hard even when I’m inside of her.
But I know she is happy with me and just likes feeling close to me. She has told me that out loud, and I can see it on her face. She will love me and stay with me even though I am working through some sexual issues. I feel like I am slowly getting better with her support.

2 Likes

The last time I had sex I was able to get hard instantly, but the second I started overthinking about staying hard I lost it and never was able to get it back up.

The last time I had sex, I barely maintained my erection. It wasn’t fully hard and felt disappointed.

The last time I had sex I was so in my head that I couldn’t experience what was happening in my body. I kept thinking to myself that I don’t know how to do this because it had been a couple of month. I had no evidence that I didn’t know how to have sec anymore, this was just a rumination and story my mind created. But it kept me from being in the moment

Last time I had sex I couldn’t get my cock up for so long. I was lost in the negative feelings and pressure I put on myself. The frustration. I thought to myself “I will not be able to have sex without pills again”.

I’ve had so much satisfactory sex with others before, regardless of erections. Oftentimes I pressure myself to perform, but I’ve had successful sex before. I can work through anything psychological and habit based, and can work on diet and changing healthy habits.