Hi guys been suffering with ED on and off , 26 years old and high test. So it’s more performance related. Been with the new Mrs for 3 months now and probably had sex around 40 ISH times in that time. Going well. But half the time I do struggle to achieve the initial erection. Once I’m going I’m fine. It has once taken 4 hours to just get it up when we had a day off. She’s very understanding and I believe the root of the cause is due to a slightly traumatic circumcision when I was younger. Always grew up very sensitive and aware of my penis and was embarrassed. Anyway yday I was really struggling. We tried initially 3 times and just before penetration he died as a voice came into my head and a rush of anxiety. I was gutted and rock bottom. She was cool with it and expl it’s not an issue. I broke the bedroom cycle and left the room and went for a walk. We got to just casually taking and I was very relaxed on the bed. I explained to her that I have always been concious of my penis hence the ongoing issues. Anyway she just took him all flacid and started talking to him. Telling my penis how much she loved him and that it was the best penis she has had, she basically softly started “affirming my soft penis” whilst playing with it and in return I began to relax and forgive myself. What happened next was a breakthrough, he rose right up whilst she spoke to him and we proceeded to have very fun sex for about 52 mins worth of penetration. It was great. Once he’s going he’s good but that initial build up to sex allows the voices to really delay me. But the soft penis pleasuring and being comfortable with him soft around her then with the affirmations from her was like a positive pep talk and then bang
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I found that connecting and explicit talk helps me a lot. Not crude or disrespectful, but stuff like ‘whatcha gonna do with this thing??’ As she grabs my hardness. Or ‘how many times you gonna get me off with your tongue before you put this inside me?’ Not demanding, but playful.
Then if I can’t get it in/go limp, she’ll blow me or give me her hand as long as I can take it…
This app has helped. Also having a really understanding partner has helped a lot as well…