Im 18, I came to this app because around 2 weeks ago i stopped watching porn because i noticed how long i was taking to ejaculate, it was at the point where my gf of 6 months(we were eachother firsts for everything) and i would be incredibly tired afterwards.
We spend every weekend at each others places and one night i came really quick, i didnt see it as a problem, then the next day i went soft inside of her, then she came over on that Wednesday and i went limp putting on the condom. This last weekend i came again but the next morning i went soft again even before i went to put the condom on, but did that afternoon to non penetrative stuff. Then today, i went limp before even taking my underwear off.
I dont know if this is related to me being a coeliac, stopping masterbation, something called flatlining? or just performance anxiety snowballing
How can i single out the problem?
I’d say you’ve got performance anxiety which you’ll learn just comes from over thinking or being in your head about your erection and performance.
We’re all going through it so just work your way through this program and you’ll hopefully see improvements as your awareness increases.
If you only stopped watching porn around 2 weeks ago then id probably say its related to that. Right now your brain has been wired to get turned on by seeing other people have wild and unrealistic sex on screens therefore when it comes to the real thing, its just not as stimulating and might not turn you on as much. Your brain needs time to rewire from watching porn to real sex. Give it time, its not instant. Having these intimate experiences with your partner will help with that rewiring process
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If your struggling with quitting porn, give the easypeasy method book a try. Its a free online resource
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Well thats the thing, it wasnt a struggle at all, i just poof…stopped watching it, thats whats confusing me, im reading all these thing about people finding it really hard to stop but thats not whats happening to me
I see what you mean, i was still watching porn when we first started being intimate, to like masterbate a few days before we were going to be intimate, its soon after that it happened
I am a very in my head person hahahaha, i once spent 20 minutes staring at a wall in a uni test. I just really want to see improvements asap because im feeling a rift starting to appear, i want to stop but i feel myself slowly closing off, and i really love this girl
Hi! I find that communicating how I feel, including my anxieties that relate to sex, really help me feel more at ease and it makes my partner and I feel more connected to eachother. Maybe, aside from the things suggested and mentioned above, try talking with your partner about what you feel (your anxiety, your love for her, etc), what you have noticed happens for you, your process, open communication is key!
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I will definitely have to try this, im a very big practitioner of ignorance and bottling things up, i say i never get anxiety or stressed our and stuff but i think thats because whenever i feel that way i just ignore it and do stuff to distract myself
Op: Stick with the app. Use the explore tabs.
Read a bunch of these forums. You can choose topics at the top. There’s a lot of good info here.
As someone above says, talk to her and be honest and vulnerable about you feelings and insecurities. This is the stuff that you don;t share with everyone but it develops stronger connections with those you do share it with. You’ll develop a bond and stronger feelings for each other through sharing and this will cement your relationship more than just good sex …but hopefully that will follow. Focus on the positives not your fears (that;s your inner critic trying to sabotage) ,Have an open heart and she’ll respond if she’s the one.