Last night I had a date with the second woman I’ve seen since my marriage ended. The first, I lost my erection during sex and was unable to get it back. I didn’t say beforehand I was nervous or that I’ve had challenges the last several years of my marriage. I just apologized and got the “It’s OK, I know you’re up in your head.”
Flash forward to last night. When things were heating up, I was honest with the second woman. Told her that I’ve had issues in the past and what happened with my last attempts. I said I was going to take ED medicine and if I still struggled to maintain an erection it had nothing to do with her.
She was very understanding and I could tell she appreciated my honesty. No macho BS. I was able to get hard and stay hard for longer, but ultimately lost my erection. Yet it was ok. She said we could try again later and I woke her up in the middle of the night and this time we had amazing sex all the way to the finish. That doesn’t happen without the honesty and vulnerability. Few women are going to think you are a loser if you tell them the truth up front, and those that are unkind aren’t worth your time.
Be open with women! Even if it doesn’t come naturally to you.
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Respect, that kind of honest communication is rare. Just a heads up about ED meds. I started using them and it actually made my anxiety worse. Now I sometimes feel like I can’t have sex without them, which sucks. So it’s really good you told her you use them. Being open about it must have taken a lot of pressure off and help with the anxiety.
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I just say due to cancer.i have problems with elections sometimes. My oral is very good
Love the honesty. I’m courting a woman now and I’m hoping to get into relationship. i’ve been using Tadalafil 10 mg sometimes 20 I’ve had to bump it up to 20 because when I’m anxious about being hurt or being abandoned or hell if work has been stressed, I need to extra boost
Though, if we start going exclusive, I want to tell her that I use the medication now. I’m also on for astride so that has something to do with my erection, but I want to trial with her no medicine after I know she cares about me lol wish me luck.
If a woman thinks of you as less of a man because you use ED medication, then she’s not for you. Most women appreciate the honesty and vulnerability.
The thing about ED medication, at least in my experience, is that it won’t make you hard without being turned on. It’s not a switch, it’s an aid.
Besides do you get some sort of extra credit if you have sex without any pills? Another thing to remember is that if someone wants to have sex with you, they would prefer you be aroused and into the experience instead of watching you struggle because of spectatoring.
I really think you are safe to tell this woman now.
I’ve only taken them twice in my life, but why does it increase your anxiety? Isn’t getting hard what you want?
And yes, it definitely helped with the anxiety. The first time I was still nervous, but when she asked me to come over again two days later and “bring one of those pills,” I was more relaxed than I had been in a decade at least. The result was the best sex I’ve had in longer than I can remember.
Yes, it is. But I started feeling less and less confident without the meds, and I began taking them more and more. It turned into a loop. Instead of stopping early, I went for the easy fix. Now I take them pretty much every time I know I’m going to have sex, and I’m starting to realize I’m relying on them mentally more than anything else. That’s why I’m trying to deal with the root cause and actually work on the mental side of it now.
And sometimes the anxiety cuts through the meds too. There have been times they haven’t worked the way they’re supposed to, and that scares me. I’m worried I’ll end up not functioning even with them. I know this is mostly psychological, so in theory I shouldn’t need them. But I got stuck in this loop and I’m finding it really hard to break.
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