It’s been two years. Love my girlfriend of 5 years to death. We went from having sex twice a week when not living together, to then once a week, then once every two weeks, the more I started having erectile issues the less we would try it. I haven’t had a good, fully in confidence, erection in years. Always have watched porn, but been watching more and more coincidentally, sometimes multiple hours a day. I’m trying to stop to help me.
We’re both busy but my girlfriend have offered that we should try it at least once a week and do it multiple times at the next holidays and I’m hoping I’ll make some progress with this app within the next 3 weeks.
I keep telling myself if that’s my current reality, how will I even get any better with age? Like I’m supposed to be near my prime… Anyways, it sucks
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Hey man i am in a similar situation, being honest with my fiancee has helped a lot and I am very lucky she is so supportive of me, keep doing your best and improving mate you will get there
Get your bloods done first. Rule out anything physical.
If it’s not physical you’ve got anxiety, not just sexual anxiety, most likely it’s part of your life anyhow and stress is part of that too.
So many people say try” this, that and the other.” Ok what works for sex anxiety in males. Staying calm, accepting you have chronic anxiety and remaining out your head. You can’t win the battle with your brain, you will keep finding excuse after excuse to diagnose yourself with something completely unrelated. Truth is you have anxiety and it plays on your mind.
The only time you need to use your rational mind is when it calls for it. Sex, you need to be relaxed, consensual and understand it’s you dick going into a vagina. That’s all. But your body doesn’t allow this still? Join the club. I can get hard but my dick is temperamental as fuck when maintaining it, haha.
Go into sex confident in yourself and cut off your thoughts. Feel what’s happening and just be yourself. Appreciate your own body and her body. If it still goes soft who cares you’re still enjoying yourself, if you are rebuilding yourself and want to remain hard in bed. Take a pill - Tadalafil. But take this and build your mind and body. Meditate and learn to stay the fuck out of your head when you don’t need to be in it to begin with.
These CBT techniques and sensate focus activities are just other procedures for you to do during. When what you should be doing is being sexually comfortable and fucking your woman’s brains out.
Mate you’re not alone so don’t be hard on yourself. This is what these forums are for. If your girl can’t accept what you’re going through she’s not the one.
But seriously get out your head and build your confidence up and learn to love your body. Love yourself man.
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I’ve been there bro. Had issues from when I was young. Got past it. 7 years with a partner I was fine, no issues no pills. After split with her, have had ups and downs - again all in my head. Mojo has helped a lot. Seeing someone great right now who is understanding, and feel like I’m getting better and better as I get more comfortable with her. All that to say - it’s not over, it can get better, do the work keep the hope and stay in touch with the men on here who know what you’re going through. We got this 
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What’s up fellas — first time posting in here.
Been reading the threads for a minute and finally decided to share what I’m working through.
Quick backstory: In 2023/2024 I was in a situationship with someone I really liked. Around that time I had just been laid off, wasn’t taking care of myself, drinking more, not working out like I used to (I played college ball, so that was a big shift).
When we finally tried to have sex, I couldn’t get it up. First time that had ever happened to me, and I panicked. The whole thing threw me off mentally, and honestly, it still sits with me.
Fast-forward to now — I’m back in the gym, eating better, feeling more like myself. I also just met someone I really connect with, and I don’t want that old moment in the back of my mind messing this up.
For the first time in my life, sex is something I’m “thinking about” instead of just doing.
So my questions for y’all:
• Did improving your health alone make a real difference?
• How has Mojo actually helped you get out of your head and back into your body?
• And real talk — what’s your take on porn? Do you feel like it made things worse or better for you while dealing with ED or performance anxiety?
Just trying to get ahead of this and build better habits now. Appreciate any advice or experiences you guys are willing to share.
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Been with my wife since I was 16 and she was the same age
Now 44
Past few years on and off I’ve been having a few issues however I know it’s all in my mind
Everything works fine
My problem was when it same to the time to perform I’d get anxious and started to think it will not get hard
It’s frustrating as she thinks it her and I no longer find her attractive which was not the case but of course she thinks it is
This then made things even worse for me as I would get even more anxious and this made me avoid it so as to not make her upset
I suppose we would have sex 3-4 times per week
Before
Anyway it’s a tough one as although I’ve now found ways around this anxiety such as talking to the wife and her supporting me I still from occasional s get the same problem
Avoiding the issue won’t help things as you’re just worry about it day in day out and find yourself using porn which make it worse
Talk to you’re partner and maybe try a different setting but not go to a place just for sex as this won’t work maybe a new room or when it’s not expected
I found my issue wash actual bedroom where I got anxious as I knew it was coming and froze up
I tried the lounge and had no issues
Anyway everyone’s different
Viagra works great to get over the initial I’ll never have sex again thoughts so don’t be ashamed to use one