Concerned I wouldn’t get an erection during sex
Why are you doing this?
Why do you feel the need to do this?
I began to get hard and my inner critic was saying “why is it happening now but it’s such a struggle when I’m with my partner?”
Well that’s typical
That’s typical. Not going to work
Reminding me that this is what it does when it doesn’t work. It goes soft and stays this way. But I also felt some hope, like it was okay to be that way
Idk if it was the inner critic or me repeatedly asking myself if I could get it up
Even in an exercise where getting hard is the opposite of the point, inner critic is saying: “why aren’t you getting hard!”
That my dick should be getting hard but its not.
Why can I get hard now but not when I need to
Inner critic said you look sad and pathetic. I tried to block it out with positive thoughts. I then saw play back of a negative experience and tried to replace it with me being hard
He was saying that my penis wasn’t working or that it should get hard or that I need to make sure I don’t get hard for the exercise
The inner critic was mainly replaying points of not being able to get hard during the play. Even though the point of the exercise is to not get hard, it seems like it should have been a challenge to not get hard. The fact it wasn’t happening even slightly set off the inner monologue somewhat.
It’s not hard enough
There’s something wrong with you
My inner critic wasn’t there honestly. I played with a silk and it felt great despite not getting hard. I couldn’t help but imagine my girlfriend doing it to me and knowing that I’d enjoy the experience despite not getting hard.
“you’re doing it wrong”
“you’re still in your head”
“what am i supposed to be doing again?”
etc. etc.
When I got an erection it started to criticize how strong it was, and when I left it go soft it started to complain about every minor thing from my body
Thoughts about what my girlfriend would think if this was all I was able to give her.
Started to think I wouldn’t be able to get an erection, or that I should be because I was touching it.
I’m probably not as small as I thought and my left nut hangs lower than my right nut