Identifying the inner critic during soft penis pleasuring

Not getting hard enough to penetrate

That I was useless at sex but I did my best to block it out and remember I’m loved by my partner

I felt like I would not get hard and the inner critic was telling me this would be so.

I realized at first just how relaxed I was when soft and by myself. But inner critic quickly came in and thoughts of embarrassment came to mind when thinking about being soft with a partner.

I heard the inner critic telling me
I was a failure because it didn’t get hard

Here we go again. You better get it up this time. If not it’s over.

It was so much a critic. It was really just my own voice saying “this is fun” or “I don’t mind doing this.” Honestly zero negative thoughts while performing the exercise

Wondering what should be done to trigger the erect ion, and if it was numb or not

You are not going to get hard by touching your Dick and that is a failure

“this is how soft you are during sex too.”
Definitely fuels my anxiety. But the exercise itself was intriguing and kind of fun.

“Look at how you’re not immediately hard from touch, that means you’ll never get consistent natural erections ever again and are a failure”. This is definitely worrying and upsetting, but recognising that I have such a strong response highlights how clear it is that it’s psychological.

Few times when it started going into a semi I wondered if this is as good as I’d get before sex but just focused on the box breathing and relaxed and easily achieved an erection a few times then leaving it to go back down again.


I feel like I should get hard quickly every time I play with it and that just isn’t possible

was saying I should be hard and stay that way indefinitely

Inner critic thought that I wasn’t able to feel incredible sensation on the head when soft. It felt dry and I almost assosiacted pain with the experience. But I think actually it was just my body slightly tensing up because my mind was saying this isn’t worth it or this isn’t going to work… aka inner critic coming for me again. So I tried to just approach it by very lightly touching my penis and being fully relaxed. It was challenging

My penis got hard surprisingly easy during this exercise. However, I thought to myself that this erection would go away after having sex long enough.

Why isn’t it getting hard if it’s being touched!

Was totally relaxed and inner critic was surprisingly quite…and guess what, started to get an erection and the more I tried to subdue it,the stronger it became. That’s the secret to all this in my opinion, take focus of getting or wanting an erection off the table and it will appear.

I can get it to work but not when it counts