Identifying the inner critic during soft penis pleasuring

It mostly manifests as a subconscious expectation. Even though the point of the exercise is to be soft, it questions why I am not getting hard as if it should be automatic whenever there is contact with my penis

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The inner critic arrives when I am with a partner. I notice the subtle things like her checking for hardness. Asking if it feels good (and if she’s doing something wrong). Sometimes it is partially a function of her not repeating the motion that felt great, but in my head, I should be enjoying all of it, right? So I pretend it all feels good and then I am disconnected with my body. Frustrated with myself. The inner voice tells me in these occasions that something is wrong with me.

Even if you get hard right now that doesn’t mean you won’t fail at sex.


Felt like the critic questioned why anyone would want this

My inner critic was vary neutral, tried to stay middle of road not to excited

I’ve rarely ever had issues getting myself hard. So my anxiety doesn’t really kick in for this situation.

Too small

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My inner critic is very skeptical and because I don’t actually have that much experience in partner situations it’s hard for me not to go back to the time where I was unable to keep myself hard.
I think this will make it easier to get stuck in my head, and trouble focussing during certain situations.

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It looks small soft, nervous how it appears. Grower not a shower. I worry I won’t get hard when you want it with a person.
But I know form using V. When it works I get no complaints and people are pleased. I need to keep telling myself the negative is only me, not others.

It brought me to moments in bed with others

I think I just needed to breathe, drop the expectations and trust my body. Reconnect with it and embrace
allowing myself to enjoy sex

Inner critic needs to stfu

You’re not supposed to be getting hard during this

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I had trouble staying soft. The majority of my time was spent trying to coax my dick to soften again.


My inner critic started telling me that I wasn’t good enough or that I won’t be able to pleasure my partner.

Inner critic talked about size, foreskin, and hypopigmentation discoloration that came about from years of amyl nitrate use (poppers). It was difficult to get around those thoughts, and I didn’t know how to spin it in such a way that I could be okay with it. I think this correctly addresses some of my issues, but I unfortunately couldn’t come up with a silver lining or means to turn the thoughts on their head. I hope that there’s a way I can train myself out of the mind trap of my inner critic.

Inner critic didn’t make any guest appearances, but I found myself wanting to fantasize


I thought about sex in the last minute and my inner critic worried about whether I would be able to perform without viagra


When a sensation felt good my inner critic for a split second whispered to not get hard. That we don’t do that and I felt my body tense up. After some breaths my tension left and I could return to feeling my penis. I believe this particular thought takes me out of the moment most times and puts me in a spectator position. I am allowed to enjoy a sensation. I am allowed to lean into those sensations. I am allowed to be horny. I am allowed to feel good and I want to.

My inner critic kept trying to speak, telling me that this was how things were, that it had come to this, and what if your wife comes home and wonders what you’re up to? But I think I’ll get over that. because I’ve shared a lot of what mojo involves with her (although I’m never gonna talk about the porn!)

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Why don’t you feel aroused, why is it small?
Why is it not working for me?

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My inner gremlin was asking to fantasize and remind it doesn’t work with your partner