I’ve started a new relationship and I’m questioning everything

From the start of the new year I’ve been seeing an ex that I can safely say is the only girl I could see myself growing old with. Initially everything was going great I was initially worried about performance with her after 5 years of not being together and safe to say I did not disappoint when I stayed with her however on the last instance of trying intercourse buddy wasn’t having any of it. These things happen and I got in my head a little bit before hand. Then I came back and proceeded with life as usual and went to a party somebody did reading there and I’m incredibly inclined to those things and he proceeded to tell that “I’m 100% gay” initially I laughed but then started to question how this would effect my new relationship. I associated my ED issues with being gay and questioning my identity prior to this I have never looked at a man in this manner. It gave me severe anxiety and I couldn’t sleep for 2 weeks after sometime these thought started to bother me less and less but I still question everything. I’ve definitely noticed my arousal lowering as my hormones are beginning to plateau and this defo doesn’t aid in my thoughts. Things were beginning to diminish until I went on holiday all inclusive and proceeded to get beyond black out drunk before 6 o’clock now naturally as a good friend even in this state I helped occupy a friend of the girls my friend was speaking to. Whilst I was present I didn’t make any advancements or indicate I was interested however at some points I completely blacked out and my friend took our room and I enter up in theirs. Not having a clue the night of the night before I woke up in a strangers bed. And later found that we interacted let’s say. Extremely hungover and guilt ridden I’ve trudged my way through the past week or so. I’ve forgiven myself for this mistake as me having any presence that evening would have shut everything down and it simply isn’t me. And I don’t see a need to destroy everything I’ve wanted for so long over a mistake that will not happen again. Nevertheless It’s reaffirmed the way I feel towards this girl that I’m not gay and that I don’t have ED issues. But yet these things still bother me not so much the thought as ik all these things are untrue. But more so them not to bother me when I’m with my partner as I’m completely aware when somebody is in there own head the job of chappy performing is much more difficult. I just need some help with living in the moment getting myself out my own head and boosting arousal.
Sorry for the long message