I feel like this isn't working

I’ve been a subscriber for a little while now. I’ve done the exercises. I’ve done the breathing. I’ve done everything that has been asked of me. I can get hard and stay hard without issue… Unless it’s time for vaginal intercourse. Even the tiniest sliver of doubt makes it completely impossible. Today my girlfriend got frustrated with the issue and I just wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole.
When is it time to throw my hands up and buy some pills?

I found a lot of benefit by getting a pelvic floor evaluation and having a physical therapist expert walk me through what “physically” i could do to help. I wasn’t doing enough of the exercises and doing them right. I found I started having morning wood consistently again, felt stronger orgasms at times, and I just felt my confidence rise. I still can get in my head sometimes and that makes it difficult but my sexual partners have been super understanding especially when I focus on them.

If your g/f is frustrated just be sure you don’t internalize that. that isn’t about you. Thats about her and a part of her that is upset. If you have a healthy relationship it might help to talk about your experience outside of the bedroom. A healthy conversation where there is vulnerability and curiosity can lead to more intimacy which may take some of the pressure off you both.

Good luck!


You have to keep in mind also that the pills don’t always “just work,” especially for psychological issues, regardless of dosage. That’s been my experience at least–able to get it up fine masturbating solo, but get another person in the room with me, no go.


I agree with the other two people. Don’t internalize any shame or frustration about not being able to achieve erection. (Easier said than done, I know!).

I’ve found the different exercises to be of some help. Consistency and mindset depend on how effective things work for me down there.

All this said, try pills. The way I sew it, ED is the problem and there’s a lot in the metaphorical toolbox to use: pelvic floor stuff, breathing and other anxiety reduction exercises, …and dick pills. Now they don’t just give you erections. You still need aroused to get hard. This can be beneficial though because it can show you “hey it’s just my head. There’s nothing wrong with my penis.”

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I think the guided masturbation helped me here. I think I’ve been expecting vaginal intercourse to feel like my super focused death grip masturbation style and not like the playful and sometimes awkward sex with a partner. Could be worth doing again if you haven’t in a while.

Maybe some mindfulness exercises as well. Try not to do more than one thing at a time throughout your day. Train your brain to focus on what you’re doing and nothing else.

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I’ve found my journey to be deeply personal (specific to me) and expansive (erection difficulties and mental health touch each other and so many particular aspects of life). I’ve been pulling things apart and better understanding myself for at least two years now. The Mojo exercises are definitely on the right track, but maybe you’ll find additional tools elsewhere that will bring a breakthrough or just add to and expand what you’ve learned so far. I’ve approached it from many angles and have noticed incredibly meaningful changes gradually happening over this time.