How much menatal noise is normal?

Hi, your post hits home with me. I’m a happily married guy with one bad experience under his belt, which has led to a prolonged cycle of failure–overthink–failure. What used to be so fun, natural and even “necessary” has turned into something I’m happier to avoid. I would have NEVER thought I would be trapped by this. I absolutely love my wife and dread every time I disappoint her.
The fact is, we can’t turn our minds off, but we can seek opportunities to live in the moment and not judge the thoughts when they happen. I’ve read every article, listened to every youtube discussion, read every book, and this seems to be the key.
Lately, I’ve been listening to the book “The Power of Now.” I literally listen to it over and over, like on a loop. I’ve never been a new age guy at all, but the more you listen to what’s being said, the more it makes sense and you can apply it. It’s packed with very useful stuff, even for those of us who “just” have performance anxiety. I have no other anxiety at all, just this.
Best of luck calming the voice. We are all in your corner because we all have this inexplicable curse we call overthinking, especially in the moment.