Helping or harming

I recently got divorced and finally dating. I started paying more attention to my erection after my vasectomy. I know it doesn’t have anything to do with ED, but noticed some erection problems since then. I thought I had it under control but since I started this program I fear it may be getting a bit worse. I feel like I am thinking about it daily. Now making it a big part of my day. Now every moment I think about it. It’s hard to telas during foreplay and sex if I am thinking about erection problems all the time. I am also having. Issues staying hard while on top. I used to be able to make my new girlfriend finish all the time like that. Now I get nervous thinking about it. Thoughts?

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Hey yes, I’ve definitely talked to other men experiencing this. Truth is that this is all part of the process. You’re tackling some difficult things head on and sometimes it can feel like you’re losing the fight. But if you keep at it, you’ll eventually turn the tide. It’s normal to worry about overthinking but I think you’re creating a foundation to have decades of great sex in the future.

To put it another way: Is it better to face your problems, go through the effort of addressing them, and come out the other side stronger and free? Or bury your head in the sand for the rest of your life and have periods of blissful ignorance between the pain of the problem happening again and again? At certain times in life, burying the head in the sand is the best option. At other times in life, facing the problem properly is the best option.

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Another way to think about it: the issue isn’t necessarily how much you’re thinking about sex, but your relationship to your thinking. If you can’t stop thinking about sex, then work on being ok where you are. Once you relax into that acceptance, you’ll naturally think less about it.

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Thank you both. My take home points are: it’s better to learn and take on the problem now. Name an understanding problem in order to conquer it. Name it, to tame it. And also, rather than overthinking about the process towards better sex. Recognize it just thoughts, and let them go