HELP! Penis shrink due to PMO since age 10

I am 15 years old and I have been doing PMO regularly since I was 10. Somedays I ejaculated 4-5 times in a row (I think it total I have done it almost 1000 times, maybe 600 times while prone and 400 normally). Up until I was 14, I did it all prone on a hard floor (lying down face down on the ground looking at porn while putting pressure on my soft penis until I came). Sometimes during that time it hurt so much I felt like screaming, but afterwards I got a surge of serotonin for some reason and it felt better. So I kept doing it and was unable to stop. Now I do PMO while standing up but always with porn. My penis used to be big when I was 12 years old. I remember around 6 inches or so, I thought WHAT? those girls are so interested in a penis like that, I have the same exact one. I think it shrank since then, I even remember going to bed and feeling my penis and wondering why it got so small. Nowadays I really want to get my old size back and keep growing because I know if I didn’t do this harmful things I would have been much larger. Online I can’t get a clear response whether PMO is good or bad.

I want to have frequent and FULL erections, since the last time I was my old size was almost a year ago. Will abstaining for a long time like 1 year help? My longest was 85 days (only once) and I only noticed a change at the start.

Also is it because of testosterone? When I ejaculate it is always a very big load, like 10-15ml every time. I wonder if it affected my height as well because I’m only 6’1" right now.

I HOPE EVERYTHING WILL RETURN TO NORMAL AND I WILL GROW ONCE I ABSTAIN

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Hello there,

I’m Grace and I work at Mojo.

I saw your post and asked one of our psychosexual therapists, Amanda Barge, if she had any thoughts that might help you.

Here’s what Amanda has shared for me to pass on to you:

It sounds as though you have been doing a lot of thinking about your situation — which is a great start. You have realized that the way you have been masturbating has not been helpful. It would be good to slow things down, get back into your body sensations without porn. Some basic mindfulness practice can be very helpful. Don’t worry about your penis size, it will settle down, it also sounds as though you have been doing a lot of growing.

It could be helpful to confide in a trusted adult about your worries, like a family member or doctor. And if you can find a local sex therapist, you could talk through your thoughts and feelings. It sounds as though you are doing a great job of changing things for the better.

I hope Amanda’s thoughts feel helpful :slightly_smiling_face: A good place for exploring different sex therapists in your area or online is Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

The team and I noticed that you said you are 15 right now. Mojo can only support people who are aged 18+. That means, unfortunately, that if we become aware an account belongs to someone under 18, we do have to delete the account. This is to ensure we don’t give the wrong sort of help to someone who might need more dedicated, specialized support.

You can still view the community website here without logging in, and if an adult were to make another account, that might be a way to access useful content with their guidance.

We’re wishing you lots of luck with everything,

Grace and the Mojo team

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Hi thanks so much. I’m still not sure why shrinking happens (is it guilt after porn, physically damaging, or something mental?). Thanks for clarifying that I should not engage in PMO for now, since I really want to optimize everything. If everything is just emotional/in my head then it will certainly change my whole point of view on this. Will do meditation and mindfulness because it can change everything?

One last thing:
If I can’t have access here then do you have any recommendations on where I can get reliable and true advice (and tips)? I don’t have access to these things in real life!

Hello!

This source from Health.com suggests that your penis doesn’t stop growing until the end of puberty, around ages 18-21. So there’s a good chance your body is still changing and things will even out.

If you’re concerned about changes in your body, your primary care physician will be able to advise if it’s worth doing any tests or adopting any helpful lifestyle behaviors. If you’re in school, your school might also have services that enable you to speak to a sexual health professional or counselor. It’s worth looking at your options because there’s often lots of information out there.

To be honest, I’ve never heard of a link between porn and penis shrinkage — and because of my job, I’ve spoken to lots of experts and read lots of research papers about porn! All sorts of people during puberty and beyond explore porn and masturbate without any negative impact on their anatomy. Watching porn isn’t inherently dangerous, and the potential negative consequences tend to relate to how you feel about using it and the perceptions or expectations it gives you about sex and body image. But even in those cases, it’s unlikely that the penis changes in size.

I agree with your observation that it’s worth exploring the emotional and cognitive side of your recent experiences :slightly_smiling_face: as well as mindfulness, you might like to look into CBT resources for teens. CBT is evidence-backed and not only can it give people freedom from troublesome thoughts, it can also help them replace old thoughts and beliefs with more motivating, feel-good ones. Here’s a collection of apps and resources that have been created with teen mental health in mind: https://www.childhelphotline.org/teen-apps/

I know how tough it can be to be a teenager, so I really hope you don’t think that because Mojo can’t support you, it’s a lost cause. You’re doing great work trying to figure things out, and I think the self-understanding and skills you’re looking to build now will set you up for a lifetime of good mental wellbeing. Keep going because you can do it! :raised_hands: