Getting panic attacks after poor performances lately

So I’ve had ups and downs with ED and performance anxiety for the past three four years ever since getting out of my first long term relationship. But for the most part, it would be fine, usually take 10mg tadalafil before the first encounter or two with someone new and if we continue to see each other, I’d wean off it and it would be chill.

I know its 100% a psychological thing and I know its not rational at all. With girls I’ve dated the past couple years, I usually get very good reviews, a couple I got comfortable with even told me I was the best/almost the best sex they’ve ever had, and I’ve never really had issues lasting

Over the past year or so, I’ve had some ongoing casual relationships with a few girls and I got really comfortable with all of them. There was an incident or two where I couldn’t get it up but it was fine for the most part since it was great. However during that time, if I met someone new and hooked up with them, I’d end up getting way too in my head for no reason and had noticed that the tadalafil wasn’t as much of a confidence booster as it used to be.

Now that those ongoing things have all ended, on good terms. I’ve gone on a bunch of dates and have hooked up with two people. The first one, was all good until I put on a condom and went soft after a minute or so of sex. After that, we hung out a few more times, did oral, but I was way too in my head to try again and I called things off even though they really liked me.

The other one was also a bit tricky. During foreplay and oral, I was hard but went soft with the condom on. I got a bit in my head but then we then fucked raw and I came in about a minute which literally never happens.

After both these encounters, when going to sleep after, I noticed my heart rate shooting up, felt like it was about to pound of my chest, noticed myself getting really sweaty, chest getting tight. Pretty sure I had panic attacks just laying there afterwards as the girl went to sleep. And now day to day my chest feels tight from this anxiety and I wake up with pretty bad anxiety and get slight panic attacks during the day from the stress.

I know its not rational, and its all in my head. But thats what makes it even more annoying. I know I’m good in bed, and have no issues when I’m feeling confident and relaxed, but this phase I’m going through right now is causing so much stress, and the tadalafil isn’t giving me the confidence boost it used to, even though the next day I notice it keeping me much harder than I otherwise would be if I didn’t take it.

It’ll all go away if I dont get in my head about it, but thats so much easier said than done.

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I feel the panic attack sweaty anxious response. I get it lately as well. I have been working on meditation and general anxiety reduction strategies. I came to MOJO for this reason. Today is my day 1. We need to get out of our heads and be more in the moment.

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I’ve been there. Were you communicating with the girl to tell her what turns you on and how to get you aroused and hard? This has been a game changer for me instead of just having the girl lie there and expect me to get hard on my own. The key is this isn’t communicating reactively when you have an erection issue. It’s communicating PROACTIVELY so the girl is helping to turn you on from the get-go. Any thoughts?

Sometimes I do that, and the second time where I came really quick I was definitely very very turned on, albeit still with some anxious reservations.

Usually I’ll be really turned on, but then after penetration for a little bit I’ll get distracted or in my head then go soft. This last time where I came quick I have no idea what caused it but it definitely messed with my head a bit.

The anxiety this is causing that persists throughout the day is really getting to me. Frustrating because I’ve had partners in the past where everything felt effortless, and could go for hours. Meanwhile with certain new people, even if everything is great on paper, something goes wrong and starts this vicious cycle