Exploring with care and love

🏳️‍🌈 LGBT+
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Hi, this is Alejandro. I grew up in conservative context as a gay guy in the closet. I am 27 years old, and I started to have sex around 4 years ago, through Grindr. 2 years ago I met the guy who now is my husband, I left my country and I am starting a new life with my huaband in a country where there is more freedom and possibilities to try many things for the first time.

My husband is 20 years older than me, and sometimes I feel envy and overwhelmed by all the experiences he had and that I was not able to have.

We are in a monogamus relationship, and we both feel good with that decision. However, now that he is out of town for work, I have been drawn for the idea of exploring more about my sensuality, fetichs, fantasies and others. I got a vape of thc revently, and I have been trying getting high for the first time in my life.

Is kinda overwhelming because it feels like I want to try all the things I was not able to do when younger and single back in my country of origin.

Last week I painted my nails for the first time, and it felt so good to know that nobody would judge me for that.

So anyway, I want to ask to this community different things:

What do you think you haven’t done because you might think you can be judged?

For my gay peers here, what are those things you feel a gay man have to try at least once? And what are those things you feel growing up gay stopped you to do it? Any advice to handle this liberation?

Thanks

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Hey! Very much relate to this. I’ve been with my boyfriend in a monogamous relationship for 8 years now and we had totally different experiences when we were in our 20s. For me, I felt like I didn’t explore things that I wanted to largely out of shame whereas he lived that stereotypical young gay single guy life. I ended up developing a deep resentment towards him after 5-6 years in our relationship and it put a strain on us.

Part of what helped honestly was taking the leap and talking to my partner about this in an open conversation, with the intention of moving forward together. From there, I spoke to him also about the things I wanted to explore sexually and he shared what he was looking for - we had a talk in a no judgement kind of way. Ended up being a lot of things that we can explore together. Also brought us a lot closer together as partners

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So I guess this is a long way of saying to talk with your partner. And be open to the possibility that you can still experience the sexual things you want to experience with them in your life.

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Oh and besides the sexual stuff, for me what was liberating too was getting my ears pierced, learning to pole dance as an ongoing hobby and changing my clothes to actually dress the way I wanted to dress. I was meant to wear crop tops :rofl:

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