Erection at women photos or talking.. help

Hey! Does anyone have a mental issue where you feel like if you see a hot girl or are talking with a hot girl you should automatically get an erection and if you don’t that means you have a problem? I want to make sure that just because you see an attractive women and talk doesn’t mean you will get an erection and then what happens is I get nervous if it gets sexual I won’t get hard. It is like I want to know it will be hard before anything sexual etc… anyone else can chime in ? thanks!

Hey man, yeah for sure! I actually get this more than anything and I feel it’s like one of the main roots of my issue lol - whenever I see a sexy picture or talk to a hot girl, I expect myself to get automatically aroused & hard for some reason - possibly due to irrational expecations, which then causes me stress and a reminds me of my ‘problem’ which can lower my mood for hours… I’ve realised that sometimes when I’m not thinking about getting hard/spectatoring, just genuinely aroused, I do actually get hard in these situations- it’s super weird, but proves it’s all in my head lol…

Yes thank you!!! so maybe the only way to deal with it is just say its normal and I agree other times I get an erection when I am not even thinking of it… so maybe the only way is to say its ok mentally and not worry and keep changing the views lol

does anyone else know how you can solve this? I am sick of looking at pictures of women or in public and my first thought goes to my penis thinking it should be erect…

I personally feel that for me, this is very closely related to libido which is connected to being stressed/anxious/depressed… by being in a better mood, and feeling happier & more confident, my libido is definitely higher and becoming erect is so much easier,as my minds at ease - I’ve quit porn althogether as it’s definitely had a negative affect on me and my natural libido, but by far the most effecive thing has been to stop spectatoring and thinking (if I’m getting erect or feeling aroused) and rather focus on the moment, and as soon as I am becoming erect, to ignore the thought and try not to spectate and get back into the moment - I suppose the biggest thing is, realisng that instantly not getting hard/aroused by looking at a picture or someone in person isn’t a problem, it’s probably very common and only happens sometimes when your horny lol… think about it, I really doubt everyone gets hard EVERY time they look at a sexy pic or talk to someone hot, right?.. the mind is powerful and often trys convince us that things are normal when they’re not…

Thanks for raising this! I have this conversation in my head all the time. I’m a straight guy and i really appreciate visual stimulation - it’s summer time in London and there are beautiful women in London everywhere and it drives me nuts that I don’t know how to appreciate them. Sometimes I try to remember as much as I can about them so I can masturbate thinking about them when I get home.

Like you all I look and think - I should be hard or at least semi hard immediately but that’s unrealistic and also probably inappropriate.

I guess there’s a place to mindfully think - “that’s a beautiful woman” and then just move on but I can’t find that headspace. I’m also single so I feel like by worrying about getting hard I’m potentially missing out on opportunities for more deeper connections by being lost in my own head.

I hope there’s a module about it in the course but either way, glad I’m not the only one.

So you think there might be something wrong with you because you can see or talk to a pretty girl and not get an erection? If it’s normal for guys to get hard every time they see pretty women, you’d see a lot of guys walking funny down Regent Street! I notice so many pretty women even walking in my part of London I would be hard literally 95% of the time I was not in my flat.

No, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t pop a boner every time you see a hot girl. Now if that hot girl is standing naked in front of you playing with your dick and telling you she wants you in her right now and you can’t get hard, that’s when there might be a problem.

Oh, and that last scenario describes my situation perfectly. :slightly_frowning_face: