I am 41 and i have always avoided penetrative sex. It all started when i caught an STI when i was 27. I went through a trauma of needing to wait to test for HIV as well. Eventually my STI was cured with medication and HIV teat came back negative after 3 and 6 months.
Since then, i have always only had what i call “light sex”. Everything except penetration. I realised recently how mucb i am losing out and decided to puah ahead with sex using condoms (i know its embarassing - i should have done this a long time ago).
However, everytime i put on a condom now my erection immediately drops and i cannot get hard again.
My mind has been programmed for almost 15 years to not penetrate. Can i change this? I truly want to enjoy sex just like everyone else. This is really making me depressed.