Do you ever get anxious during sex? How does it affect you? (Part 2)

Yes. Usually I doubt my ability to stay hard and last long in bed. I wonder if my partner is enjoying herself and then it affects my performance.

Yeah I do get anxious during sex. I can usually get hard when I’m flirting or during foreplay, but then as we continue I’ll eventually go soft and then it won’t get hard again. In the past it would come and go a bit, but now I struggle to get hard again. I spoke to partners and would say I wasn’t focused on Cummings, which is true to a point. And that would be enough to relax me back into it.
But the expectation to be hard all the time makes me feel anxious. And also that feeing that if I’m not hard it means Im not enjoying the sex, or I don’t find them attractive.
I used to have a lot of hook ups or sex at parties. It was exciting and I usually wouldn’t ha e any issues. But it’s not ticking the right boxes any more. I even find mastabation less enjoyable.

Yes and it usually ends in tears from myself and my partner. Naturally she feels rejected and that I don’t fancy her and usually after we discuss it and I cry and get my emotions out I’m then miraculously able to perform the same night sometimes and then ok for a couple of days. But inevitably a couple/few days after having no sex when we go to have it I can’t perform again and it’s frustrating and making me sad at the same time. And I do feel like a failure and can’t understand why it works fine once I relax but then another time I just can’t stop over thinking things in my head and once that starts it’s game over.

I don’t want to let my partner down as I know she will think it is that I’m not attracted to her or into her anymore. This then plays on my mind. She often does get upset when it happens which then makes me feel more anxious and the cycle continues.

Ever since I was young I always have had a difficulty in performance in bed such as lasting long at all. But now the problem seems to be, being able to get an erection at all sometimes. Idk what it is. I feel fine physically, energy wise but erection just not there. What could it be?

Yes. I get distracted and can’t preform the way I normally do

i used to never. Now that I have trouble staying hard, I feel some sort of anxiety towards starting.

Thinking that I wont stay hard and mske my partner feel like its her fault.

After the first few times I couldn’t get hard it definitely got to me and I would constantly overthink the situation which definitely made it worse

Want to stay hard…when partner is aroused I am aroused. She gets turned from me being aroused


Yes I do , I start to get excited and anxious to penetrate and finally anxiety kicks in and body consider that as a threat .

Self-conscious that I’ve not got it up and that my penis is just sat their flacid. Worried that she in turn feels self-conscious.

It kills everything, the mood, my attraction to my partner in the moment, any chance of getting or getting back an erection. Once my mind starts analyzing I can’t turn it off.

I can maintain an erection during oral sex, however when things get to the point of penetration, it goes away. It has happened three times and it sucks


I have always felt so nervous when my wife and I want to have sex. A couple of times in the beginning of our relationship weren’t a big deal, then it started happening more and we would fight over it. I felt guilty because she was not able to achieve orgasm. I felt guilty if I came early. I felt guilty when I couldn’t get an erection because sex became something that was a fight, not pleasurable. I think earlier on it was more related to the nerves of getting pregnant even though we were using protection. Now I’ve had a vasectomy so that shouldn’t be an issue. I think I’ve been scarred by this idea that sex is going to lead to a fight and even though my wife doesn’t get mad about not getting to orgasm, I’m nervous that we will still end up in a fight. I’m just so tired of disappointing her and want to reassure her that I love her. It really makes me feel inadequate.

I tend to get anxious about being anxious. I have fears in my mind about factors that I know aren’t super valid, but I worry that those thoughts of anxiety will enter my head in the bedroom, and then they inevitably do, then I can’t get hard. It happened when we first got married because she didn’t understand I wouldn’t be hard while finishing her off after I climax and thought it was her. Then we had a couple years of great sex. Now I have a season of anxiety and it’s happening again.

I have always struggled with anxiety before and during sex. Sometimes I can have a great time and stay out of my head however a lot of the time when I get an erection I’m like “yes good to go” and perform too quickly just in case I get anxious and I’m worried about losing the erection. Therefore this leaves me feeling like I don’t perform well.

I went through a breakup 4 months ago, and now have a new partner. My performance has been great up until a few days ago… I started taking my antidepressants again and just. Like the first time it effected my erections. Only this time my anxiety got in on it also… And being with a new lover it’s worse, I’m anxious about what she will think, if we foreplay and have fun my erection is fine. As soon s we start having intercourse, my mind drifts off and thinks about, will this work? And then my heart starts feeling like it’s wrapped tight, and bang, it’s gone.