Do you ever get anxious during sex? How does it affect you? (Part 1)

Yes especially with new partners. I will get in my head and lose my erection. I get incredibly anxious and I worry that it makes me avoid any casual encounters entirely.

Unfortunately yes especially , is getting in my head that I won’t satisfy my girlfriend and losing my erection immediately, I don’t know how long my girlfriend will tolerate that

Yes I completely know what you mean with this. A lot of the time when it happens to me my body is shaking and my heart is pounding after a failed attempt.

Yes. Especially at the moment of putting the condom on. Both the fear of going flaccid or not lasting long enough completely ruin the act and I end up nervous and shaking and soft and frustrated. But most of all embarrassed by my failure to complete what should have been a simple exchange of pleasure between two people attracted to each other.

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Same thing here! Very annoying

I am a gay, married 30-year old man. I used to not get anxious about sex until sometime in the last year when, for the first time in years, I wasn’t able to get hard (because I was extremely drunk). This one occurrence immediately brought back all the feelings of shame and embarrassment that I had felt when I was in high school and still trying to have sex with females. After this one occurrence about a year ago, my inability to get hard started happening more and more often until I arrived at the point where I am today. Prior to any sexual encounter, I start feeling extremely anxious, as if I already know that there is no possible way that I will get it up–it’s like I’ve already lost and have failed. Not only is this embarrassing for me, but it also makes me feel guilty because I know that it is also affecting my husband. This anxiety about not getting hard is precisely what keeps me from getting hard in the first place. I have known that this was my problem for a while, but I had no idea that this was a common issue among other men my age (30 years old). I certainly wasn’t able to talk about it with anyone. I’m really hoping that I can find a way to get back to where I was a year ago and shed all this doubt.

I always get anxious that I won’t meet girls’ expectations about my performance. I’m tall and in good shape, but I ejaculate quickly and am self-conscious about my penis size. I feel like girls expect me to have a big one and be awesome in bed, so I get anxious for them to find out the opposite is true. I’m also really competitive and it bothers me to think other guys are bigger or can last longer, which makes me put more pressure on myself resulting in more anxiety.

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It is unpredictable for me, but it happens more frequently the less that I know my sexual partner – early interactions are particularly risky. I think in the past it has made me less likely to even go out and seek relationships with women, as I fear how I might be perceived or how ashamed and frustrated I might feel if I don’t perform. I am also realizing that much of it has to do with my own mental model of masculinity; I thought the quote “We don’t often see men comfortable with a soft penis” was very insightful because I certainly can’t say I’m comfortable with it.

Yes, anxiety has been an essential (albeit unfortunate) part of sex for me for years already, it has completely destroyed my sex life, to the point that I have decided (though reluctantly) to shun intimacy altogether.

I do get anxious. It’s strange, I want to be able to enjoy it so bad and don’t want anything to go wrong that it gets the best of me when it happens. I try to keep my mind so focussed on trying to enjoy it, I forget that I actually need to enjoy it.

Yes, anxiety has been an essential (albeit unfortunate) part of sex for me for years already, it has completely destroyed my sex life, to the point that I have decided (though reluctantly) to shun intimacy altogether.

Anxiety mainly effects me by keeping me from getting an erection in the first place. Recently whenever i start to get close to having sex or getting intimate i get really anxious about not getting it up. Its prevents me from feeing relaxed about a connection and instead I stop an opportunity and avoid it to not be embarrassed.

I have been anxious during sex after one time where I wasn’t able to get hard. Then I was anxious about my penis not working again, and I focused all of my attention on trying to get hard so that I could please my partner - but that didn’t work, and now I’m anxious about sex every time.

I don’t usually have a problem getting hard beforehand. Then once we start I am super aware of my erection, so once it goes soft that is all I can think about.

I get anxious all the time, afraid that my penis will go soft. The worst part is changing positions, because it has a tendency to go soft during that movement.

I have. It gets worse the longer it goes on. It becomes a vicious cycle.

I get anxious as soon as I think about getting soft or think I’m getting soft. It affects me because that vicious cycle stops me having sex and then makes me feel insecure that I haven’t pleasured my partner

Yes I do get anxious sometimes and it usually gets me soft getting an erection is no problem however when me and my partner try to have sex I go soft

I am always worried about whether I am going to get erect or stay erect. I think the first time it happened, it was something physical. I have remedied the physical part. I need to learn how to get out of my head.

I worry so much that I’m gonna be awful and that the girl could do so much better in terms of choosing a sexual partner, that I just panic and can’t get an erection. I think I used to worry more about them going around and telling everyone what I’m like in bed/how big my dick is - now I think because I missed out on those sexual experiences because I was too anxious, that I think that everyone is better at sex than me and the girl should go and have sex with someone else because it will be more enjoyable for her. I can’t believe that anybody would want to sleep with me because they enjoy my company, and I think they should go have sex with someone they could have a better time with.