I have developed a complex relationship with porn that even I struggle to understand. I have become totally sick and tired of it and yet, I somehow still want to wank to it. I struggle to quit watching porn, even if I get less and less aroused by it and therefore, worse erections from it than before. I have also become over selective with the pornstars and scenes that I like.
I am realizing more and more, that yes, Iām comparing my body, penis and performance to that in porn videos. Porn has taught me that every move, every change in position or crazy idea will be the greatest feeling ever. It has also led me to believe that erections should come on right away, and last for 30+ minutes without going soft.
Yeah, I used to think that I knew porn was all just fantasy and I could differentiate real life from it, but I realized subconsciously that it was affecting how I should behave during sex. I also realized that most of the things I though I knew about sex, are actually from porn and not sex education.
Also, I havenāt had a lot of sexual experience in my life, and I think that led me to rely on porn educating me subconsciously.
One of the main expectations taken from porn was the thought that itās normal to be hard the whole time having sex. I was surprised to find out itās normal to lose your erection during sex.
Luckily I have a partner that is caring and the one helping me with my erection issue exercises.
No, porn is a fantasy. They are paid to pretend
I think that I was comparing my sexual encounters to the porn that I was watching for the longest time, I just wasnāt fully aware I was doing it. I was aware of the negative consequences it was causing, but I wasnāt aware of what was causing them. Recently, I have really been working on restructuring my relationship with porn and masturbation. Porn is a form of entertainment, and when I view it and understand it in this format, i realize it wouldnāt make sense to compare myself or my partners to it, because sex is not the same as porn. It sounds so simple typing it out, but it was not simple for me to realize. So short answer, yes, I have and still do compare myself and sexual partners to the porn I watch. But Iām realizing and starting to become aware of the distinction between porn and sex, and it has been helping tremendously.
Just being able to easily get it up and that be normal, troubles me. These people probably never experience consistent erection problems.
Sometimes ā it feels like porn can āup the anteā so to speak which seems to be unhealthy
I suck and I always disappoint my partner.
Porn made me believe that it was the gold standard of great sex and that most if not all sexual encounters should be the same.
I think that thereās a performative and confidence expectation set up-that I am meant to walk in, drop my pants, and fuck away without build up or connecting
Yes I do. Sometimes if I want to feel harder I will imagine some of my favorite porn videos while having sex. Porn has taught that I have to perform and make her cum and be aggressive.
I certainly has in the past. It lead to a fixation on anal sex and other things would not get me as excited. It also made me only sensitive to masturbation and while I can get it up and have sex with a partner, i can usually only cum through masturbation.
No
It makes me worry about staying hard for long enough
no
I guess watching porn over the years has led to me feeling that I should be able to become aroused and erect at a momentās notice. And that since so many men can finish without manual stimulation, there must be something wrong with me that I canāt. That said, watching porn and seeing circumcised penises helped me to come to terms with mine, and to realise that being ācutā didnāt automatically make it unattractive.
Yes, I do, to be honest. Taught me that I should be great dominant lover and I should be hard at any time. Which I even used to before I had my first encounter with performance anxiety and due to that even jelly penis. Since then my sex life turned to nothing because it killed my libido.
I think the sheer volume of responses and the nature of the responses here should put to rest whether or not porn is or can be addictive. Porn use is an addictive behavior just like other reward seeking patterns.
And yes Iāve compared myself and the sex Iāve had to porn. Porn has definitely led to concerns about my size, my stamina, and my ability to be as dominant as the male performers seem in hardcore porn.