Went 6 weeks straight without porn, and looked at it 3 days ago, spiralled again the day after and yesterday. Stopped myself now but I’m just so so angry at myself. The release didn’t even feel that good, felt the same as if I had been doing it daily anyway. So ashamed and so so disappointed
Hang in there, brother. I don’t know your whole story, but I do know that all of us on here have to learn to be a little kinder to ourselves. I think it’s what all of us are learning, just in various ways.
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Very common to have little setbacks. Just keep at it and get right back on track bro.
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Don’t put so much on yourself… it’s not a big deal-unless you allow it to be.
Maybe allow yourself a weekly wank? With or without porn.
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I think it puts me in a very bad headspace and the shame and how I feel about it doesn’t help my thoughts when in the bedroom in real life with my real partner so I just want to cut it out completely. Yes the porn itself and the act itself is probably okay if consumed on a healthy balance like you say once a week, but for me it’s just the shame I feel in the head which I carry with me for weeks and weeks
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I don’t know why we associate porn with shame. I think it can be amazing, and am grateful we have opportunity to experience it. Just keep it in perspective- it’s just visual imagery- not real, not a patch on what can happen in real life. I do find the AI here can be a bit judgey about it but don’t buy that - just chill about it. It’s not harmful but note it can be boring if habitual.
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I know it’s difficult to cut something out of your life you have used for so long. Please don’t beat yourself up about it, you had a slip, it happens to us all.
Here’s the important part, something I learnt the hard way. Don’t change the goal, change the pattern and routine.
Instead of going cold turkey, why not slowly reduce the use over time. For example, use it every other day until you feel in control. Then use I every third day and so on and so on until you feel you have reached a point you feel comfortable with.
I went cold turkey for 30+ days and in the beginning it was difficult, very difficult, but I got there in the end. Now I have a much healthier view and use of porn. Limiting myself to using it once a month and only one video that lasts no more than 30mins and has no extreme content.
If you are feeling ashamed you need to dig deep and ask why? Is it the content? How much you are watching? It won’t be easy, you will have ups and downs, but stick to a goal and adjust along the way.
Don’t let one slip determine the outcome.
You’ve got this bud
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