Can’t get hard during group play

I’m usually pretty good with maintaining an erextion with my SO. I do take a cialis now and again which just helps with consistency and firmer.
Lately we’ve been dabbling in some enm play. We’ve hung out with a couple twice now. The ladies play together (which is extremely sexy) and then us guys play with our own partners when they are done. We play in the same room. I’ve been completely dead :eggplant: It’s pretty embarrassing because they are getting it on really good, but I can not. And it causes further issues on my SO being able to enjoy herself because my inability to come to attention. Cialis doesn’t help. It’s totally a mental thing that I need to get over but not sure how?!

Hey, no personal experience with this but I was wondering :

  • are you aroused from the ladies playing and then lose arousal when you start with SO?

  • whilst ladies play what do you guys do? Is he aroused too? Do you play?

  • do you feel nervous or hyper aware of the other couple - both or just one (guy or lady)

Not sure but feel that really reflecting on what is happening for you in all phases of a typical enm session so you can start to focus on where things may go off track for you may point to a way forward - any feelings of nerves, jealousy, anger ….

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This situation would seem to lend itself to feelings of inadequacy.

ENM here too who has frequent threesomes and struggles to stay hard during, so a little different.

Generally speaking, adopting compersion (minding yourself to be happy that someone else is happy) is a great way of tackling some of the perfectly natural “negative” emotions that surface in ENM contexts.

Some good questions above, I would add:

  • is same room play actually something you want?
  • do you enjoy the other couple’s company?
  • how often do you focus on the other couple instead of your partner?