The summer before freshmen year of High School I went on a youth retreat. The guys I was bunking with were the cool kids and I was their emotional punching bag. They tormented me all weekend and I went along with it because I wanted to be accepted by them. The most traumatic thing that happened was when I was told that I had to show them my penis. I was afraid of it looking small so I started pulling on it to try and make it bigger but no matter what I did it wouldn’t grow. I finally showed them and one shouted “IT’S BLUE!!!” and everyone erupted in laughter. Now I understand that my body was doing what it was supposed to do in a state of fight or flight, pumping blood away from my penis. It did this so much so that it turned blue from a lack of oxygenated blood. I didn’t realize it until now, but that was the first time I tried and failed to have an erection and it was at the age of 13. Its taken me 25 years to realize that I was being abused and that that abuse has been affecting my sexual health from that point on.
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Hi there, I’m so sorry that this happened to you. Know that their actions were uncalled for and not ok. They definitely were not the cool kids at all. People like that grow up to be losers, I promise you that. I want to try and help you through what you’re going through. Please reply and maybe I can help.
i am sorry for that happen to you, some ppl can be ???. But realize is first step to recovery so good luck to you
Thanks for replying. I appreciate the offer to help. It’s nice to see how active the community is on here.