Arousal stopped right after erection

This has happened at numerous times where Iā€™m focusing on my breathing and just enjoying and then all of a sudden Iā€™m no longer aroused. My dick goes soft and seeing my wife look at the ceiling just seems to turn me off more. My wife is beautiful but for some reason it is not turning me on and the worst bouts I have of this is when she actually wants to have sex. Any suggestions on how to address this as the more I try to force myself to be aroused the less I am.


This is towards the beginning when I am trying to get her ready and long before penetration. The worst times are when she wants it.


It really sounds like the minute you feel like you have to perform you lose your erection. So I think a big part of the solution for you will be to get away from sex being a performance and towards something that you enjoy doing without putting pressure on yourself. Easier said than done, I know!

But Iā€™d recommend keep working through the exercises (sensate in particular could be good for you in helping you get out of your head). Some men have also reported that having a conversation with their partners really helps change the dynamic!