Argument would be from when Istarted having Ed issues. Wife felt self conscious that Iwasnt attracted to her and she needed reassurance and I felt confused and disheartened because I wasn’t sure why this was happening and I needed understanding
My gf has been frustrated and irritated since the PE started. I felt she has needed space
When my ex moved in with me I kept analyzing in silence all her wrongdoings instead of trying to help her in what she needed
These situations are tough. Sorry to hear, brother.
So much to say, but I’ll leave it between my partner and I, plus my psychotherapist and sex therapist, etc.
I thank the team at Mojo for giving us these tools to reflect upon and put into practice as well as offering us the opportunity to engage in the community and seek support from each other.
I had an argument with my ex about being in contact with a friend she’d cheated on me with. I phrased it too much like an ultimatum which triggered her and made her feel defensive and controlled. I need to feel safe, respected, and prioritised, and she needed to feel respected and autonomous. I still feel like she disregarded how distressing the situation was for me, but this course has made me think about how I could have approached it differently but expressing my feelings and needs regarding the situation and asking hers in return.
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I had an argument with my partner where I clearly didn’t understand her needs at the moment and I wasn’t empathetic. We didn’t talk to each other until the end of the day when I asked to talk about it and she shaid she was just feeling sad that day and she just needed some support and understanding. Instead, I took it personal and I got defensive because I thought she was not telling me the truth about something happening to her. The we talked about it and I apologized and just gave her love and support.
She felt frustrated that the house was messy, and let down that I hadn’t managed to tidy. She needed me to show that I was putting effort in. I felt that I was already doing so much, that tidying the house was a lower priority. I needed her to understand that I was doing my best
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When my girlfriend found out that I was taking cialis she felt disappointed. I guess what she needed was a bit of inclusion. Now that she knows, we are both aligned to be the most authentic person ourselves which means for us not being a prisoner of a drug. At the same time, if I feel like taking it, I will no longer be ashamed as I’m not honest.
Her finding out that I took cialis was probably the best thing that happened.
When I first started my relationship , I was worried at what I perceived to be distance in the relationship. I felt insecure and what I needed was validation . My partner felt uneasy because she did not percieve any insecurity on her end and I was not being direct about my feelings or needs. So she became guarded.
I had made someone feel unimportant repeatedly. I needed to show that I was interested and trying to give them what I I could at that time. They needed that, but also time to figure out that some of what they asked for was too much for me to provide
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I had an argument with a friend/roommate that ended our friendship. We had a falling out and I tried to resolve it but we were never as close and didn’t hang out. Then COVID hit and we were locked down. I needed some community and friendship, but I didn’t express that directly. Instead I got progressively more frustrated until I blew up at them and they never spoke to me again.
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After my partner and I were sexual last time, we had an argument because she felt like she was having to instruct me too much on what she wanted. I think that she had a need to feel understood. Though underneath, she also was angry at me and I was angry at her because we hadn’t been getting enough consistent time together. I was upset and didn’t want to please her and she was upset and wanted to close up to me, when really what we may have needed was to know the other deeply values us and wants to spend more time together.
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there feeling was anger and mine was neglect and misunderstanding
She was insecure because I couldn’t keep it up. She didn’t know it at the time but she needed to understand what was going on
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The fight me and my ex got into was because we weren’t having a lot of sex, and when I’d bring it up she got very defensive. I didn’t know how to bring it up because it’s a very touchy subject. I wasn’t trying to convince her into doing anything, I just didn’t understand why she was never in the mood and I didn’t feel attractive.
In hindsight, I’m pretty certain she wanted an out but she didn’t want to make it seem like her fault for breaking up. She told me the reason we couldn’t be together was because we didn’t have a lot in common. I know that isn’t the whole story.
I supposed what I needed was someone to be honest with me. I know she told me she struggled with telling me how she felt because of her ex. I felt I couldn’t explain issues to her beyond our fight we had because she’d get super defensive again. So nothing would get shared
For about a year, my ex and I consistently fought about my porn usage. I was struggling to stay hard and come, but I knew I could to porn. I needed to feel competent, that I could get it up. I needed to care for my self-esteem. Of course, when I went behind her back to do this, trust withered. She needed trust, and each time I went behind her back it hurt that trust and made her feel unattractive to me.
Frustrated - space
Insecure - reassurance
Mine was worn out and needed independence
Frustration with family members where I need space and independence