Discovery - she’s the kindest person I’ve ever met and our sex can be great most of the time. I sometimes have hiccups where I get in my own head.
Design - she’s wifey material. It’s early days, but she’s a great mum to her son and would be the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with.
Design - work on our communication. I’ve been getting better, and she’s slowly letting down her walls that she’s put up from previous relationships.
Destiny - I’ve already started putting in the work. This app I’m using, not just for more sexual confidence, but better mental wellbeing full stop and it’s helping me become less anxious and communicate better with her.
Discovery – She is my rock. My best friend. The person whom I love more than life itself. We had a good sex life, and we are open and honest with each other in communicating what we want.
Dream – That my wife and I reignite that spark that we once had and enjoy each other’s company more intimately. I want to regain her trust and show her that she means the world to me every day.
Design – I need to address my psychological issues so that I can be the best version of myself for both me and my wife. Being more attentive to my wife’s needs and desires is important, as I may have let that slip over the years. Continuing to reinforce my total love and devotion to her and being the one person, she can rely on no matter what.
Destiny – Seeking help and therapy is a start for myself. Communicating what our goals are and perhaps seeking some couples therapy to help keep us on track to make sure we are both heading in the right direction.
Best part of our relationship is that we get to do things together and explore new places and spend time together.
We have shared amazing experiences and supported each other for over a decade. She is my rock. I dream to learn more about her and for each of us to continue to let each other into the most vulnerable places. I need to be more attentive to her and put her first above all else. I commit by showing her this by action and by thinking ahead and planning to do activities and show love to make her feel seen and loved
Discovery – She is my world. She is my best friend and my one person for me. I love her more than anything in this world. She is the one I can count on when things get tough.
Dream – That’s I can regain her trust so that we can reignite our spark. I still feel that our passion is there, as it comes out when we fight, but I would love for that passion to reignite our spark so that we become intimate again.
Design – We need to have more open, frank, honest conversations about our intimacy issues and discuss what we both want from the relationship to get us there. Whether it is better communication, more physical contact, or respecting each other space more, we need to discuss what our needs are and negotiate how we can each fulfill each other’s needs in the relationship.
Destiny – We definitely will need help. She has been in therapy for a long time now, so I feel a little behind the 8-ball here, but I think me seeking help for my own issues, not just the ED, but my other mental demons as well, is where it has to start. She needs to be reassured that I am committed to resolving my issues, so that she can feel comfortable trusting in me again, and then perhaps we can explore how we get our relationship back to the place we both (hopefully) want it to be
D- She is very supportive
D- Be more open from my side, build a strategy where we can be vulnerable to each other
D- Stop being afraid of the outcome, stop overthinking, stop making scenarios in my head
D- I want this relationship to last for a very long time
Discovery - Spending time and laughing together,
Dream - I hope for a future where we can confide in each other spiritually we can text each other on a more frequent basis or see each other more often she opens up herself more to me
Design - I need her to open herself more maybe. I need myself to be more confident in myself and to be more warm, to not overthink If she needs space. I need to be able to speak my mind and not shy away from communication and worries of hurting them.
Destiny - reminders that I’m not a bad person for wanting more
Discovery: learning and exploring someone who I’m attracted to and genuinely like
Dream: be in a mutually supportive relationship with sexual polarity and chemistry
Design: I need to act like someone who deserves that kind of relationship
Destiny: I can commit to improving each day and not settling for less
Discovery: The best part of our relationship is that we can USUALLY be open and honest about what is going on, however that communication is changing.
Dream: I want us to be able to be completely open including in our sexual lives and to want to give pleasure to the other person in the way they want.
Destiny: I can commit to learning how to effectively communicate that I want to have more open and even spontaneous discussions on these topics like we did earlier in our relationship.
The best parts of our relationship are when we’re just letting our inhibitions go and being silly, flirty or snuggly.
Where I would like this to go is expanding that. Letting us have a playful relationship with each other without all the uncertainty and “dead air” in between.
I think we need to have a discussion about what’s working and what’s not. Both of us are so reserved normally that we just sit there in silence a lot of the time. If we expanded how we are when we’re distraction free it would be amazing.
I think the best way to commit to that is really opening up the communication lines. Having a hard talk with her about what we want and how we’re satisfying each other’s needs followed by just a consciousness of when we’re closing up so we can be mindful to keep the lines of communication open.
Discovery - best parts are when we are joking around and flirting and intimate.
Dream - to one day marry this girl. She’s perfect.
Design - communication needs to improve. Reading each others signals better and understanding what’s wrong.
Destiny - pay more attention and be more forward with communication.
Discovery: Sharing time being totally open and honest with someone who shares the same with me.
Dream: In new relationship, but need to be open and encourage the same in return
Design: Share and own my vulnerabilities
Destiny: Start having these conversations as soon as possible
Discovery: We know each other so deeply and can be so in tune with each other’s thoughts, feelings and wants
Dream: Thriving as individuals together
Design: Open communication, personal growth, personal and couple goals achieved
Destiny: Hard work, discipline, kids to grow and become mature individuals, dedication to ourselves and our relationship
Discovery: the total trust we have in each other and the life we have built
Dream: to augment the relationship with uninhibited intimacy
Design: for me to commit to being more forthright and push myself forwards without the fear of disappointment
Destiny: to truly have support while I work towards that goal
Discovery - I want warmth, humor, novelty
Dream - a solid relationship where I can trust what she says.
Design - I need to meet someone where there is mutual interest
Destiny - I need to resume searching for methods that provide opportunities - dating apps, etc
Discovery - having someone to share life with, having a default person you check in with or do stuff with. Someone who supports you and who you support. Someone to hold and be intimate with.
Dream - Being in love with someone I feel emotionally and physically attracted to. Being in a relationship where we both expand each other’s lives. Sharing third things like books, movies, games, art. Being with someone who makes me feel appreciated and important.
Design - Be proactive about dating. I’m already planning to attend more dating events. Laser eye surgery could be a minor boost in terms of confidence and photos. Possibly try to get better photos for dating apps. Possibly reactivate dating apps (we’ll see, can backfire and demotivate me). I’ll also let any friends who might know single people know that I’m trying to actively date if they know anyone.
Destiny - I’m already mentally commited to it. And I have someone who’s coming to events with me. I think I have a decent support system to pursue my goal, it just takes time.
Discovery - best parts are when we’re stress free. We both have things going on and we put a lot of pressure on the relationship because of it, so it works best when we ease off that pressure and relax.
Dream - right now, the future I hope for is one where me and my girlfriend work through these tough times (not sex related) as she has so much on her plate, and we come out of it stronger.
Design - we need to take a step back. Ease off the accelerator. We put so much pressure on the idea of needing to see each other when we have so much going on. Slow things down a bit and make use of quality time together, not quantity.
Destiny - we’ve already agreed to take a step back. Allow each other to breathe and focus on the other stressful things in life, so the time we do have together is spent relaxing and having fun.
Discover: I’d like to strengthen our bond and bring back a bit of the fun and ‘want to be together’ to share more things with as we get older.
Dream: To turn that into being with the person heading into retirement and I can’t wait for her to wake up for what I want to tell her or do that day with her.
Design: Start working towards a more effective communication style where we both understand the needs of the other person
Destiny: This will start slow / improve on what we already have, however the tools of being more attentive and focused on the cues are the fundamental basis.
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Discover: Having someone to share the mundane moments of life with. A best friend who you are attracted to.
Dream: To live a content life, where I am loved and love in return. Where life goes through ways of adventure and humbleness.
Design: Stop chasing one night stands and external validation and focus on myself and my own interests. When I meet someone, ask myself if I am just enjoying the attention or if they generally aline with the future I see for myself.
Destiny: I need to continue to work on my self esteem and practice self love and value every day. When I am feeling down I look for external validation. To allow only good people in my life I must know what it is worth to be my romantic partner.