Discovery: emotional, intimate and dramatic bond together. Sexual interest although we have been clunky. Dream: to fuck without issues like I have in the past!
1 Like
Discovery: An intimate and emotional relationship where we can talk to each other without judgment and guide each other and navigate through everyday life
Dream: To wake up next to my wife in our house with 2-3 kids have a little fun. Have breakfast, set out for the day while communicating, playing, communicating on topics, or planning. Come back home with house duties and the kids and maybe do something or anything even if it’s mundane. Then maybe do more fun then talk til we sleep.
Design: I really need to get out and experience. I’m really lacking. It would so I could respond appropriately and have the know how to navigate. Be healthier, learn more skills, talk to women more, and be more socially active.
Destiny: I would have study and practice. Practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes permanence. Build that confidence through healthier circle and mindset. Cleanse myself of all these preconceived notions and be mindful of myself which I am actively do so I can be more comfortable in my own skin
Discover: presence, physical closeness and friendliness, sexual joy, good conversations, exploring each other and the world together, supporting each other emotionally, listening to each other’s problems and comforting each other.
Dream: more regularity, more honesty, more variety. More connection between friends. More closeness, which means more comfortability letting my guard down and loving myself unconditionally. Better communication. Awareness of what I want and ease with sharing my needs. Motivation to feel good and help others feel good, not to try to control or hide to avoid fear of rejection and loneliness. Ability to let go.
Design: prioritizing quality time with no distractions with those I love and with myself. Learning to better love and care for myself and others. getting to know and love my body through exercise, using this app. Staying in therapy. Committing to meeting new people and spending time around others.
Destiny: continuing to build my daily routine so I can rest and grow consistently. Sharing more with those I already trust. Saying yes to opportunities. Paying attention to signals. Letting go of small fears and worries.
2 Likes
I start doing a version of this when starting with this app were a commit to continue sharing with my wife all the progress, learning and feelings I get from this healing journey.
Discovery: Just being with her, seeing her smile, making her laugh, seeing her take care of me at times and care about me in general.
Dream: Continued success, mutual love and care for each other, I don’t think we’ll get married but just enjoying each moment that we have and sharing experiences.
Design: Both of us need to be more ok with opening up. I need to make her feel comfortable with saying bad things about me and making sure she knows I won’t take it to heart, working together towards a better future. I need to make a comfortable safe space and be less afraid that every negative thing she says means she’s on the verge of breaking up with me…
Destiny: Support from myself, be more confident, she has repeatedly said she won’t break up with me unless I stop caring about her, even after a big fight where I thought it was the end, she was surprised that I thought that it meant it was the end and she never thought so despite it really sounding like it. Be more confident, she may not be the most comfortable with difficult talks but it doesn’t mean it can’t be done.
1 Like
Discovery: we make each other laugh, we are on the same wavelength on silly and serious. We share similar values but we each challenge the other to be better.
Dream: we grow old together, comfortable enough to do the things we enjoy without working too hard forever, we have a strong community and some independence. We love each other physically and intellectually daily
Design: we need to talk about that future, and ensure we’re both working towards it, we would benefit from being more vulnerable, having difficult conversations better and more often.
Destiny: I can be less defensive when challenged on my behaviour, less reactive to perceived threats, stop trying to read thoughts.
Discovery: having someone to come home to, to explore life with, and to grow/communicate/tease.
Dream: finding reasons to leave work or take holidays to do things with her… to come home and help her make dinner, discuss our days and lives, to do the dishes while she relaxes, and to bond together before ending the night.
Design: discuss/plan vacations, throw together surprise weekend getaways, ensure there is a date night at least twice a month without excuses.
Destiny: still working this one out as being single is not easy. Lol
2 Likes
I believe me and my partner already have a very good communication which has allowed us to be honest about our worries and desires for the future. Our life is already very good and enjoy each others company a lot!
Discovery: I feel so loved, supported & heard by my partner for who I am.
Dream: I want to live the mundane life with my partner - the good & bad. Someone I can wake up next to & grow with, who gives me independence but shows up & is a part of a team with me. We also have amazing physical & mental intimacy with one another.
Design: working through my own trauma & hangups with sexuality. Supporting my partner with their own anxieties & insecurities within our partnership. Having more patience when things aren’t gelling with us, or not taking things personally as often times the negative feelings & insecurities aren’t about me.
Destiny: we’re taking time away from each other & I’m lucky to have this time to focus on self development & growth when it comes to my own ED. I am investing in myself & my well-being first. And I hope that will make me be a better partner in the long run.
Discovery: We will try to verify each other’s word choice to make sure we understand one another.
Dream: Grow old with her and have a family.
Design: I need to get a house so we can have a place to live because of the 1-2 hour distance.
Destiny: Start applying myself to work so that I can be noticed for more leadership roles instead of feeling comfortable.
Discovery: the best parts of our relationship are the sex, being playful together, exploring/ trying new things together
Dream: our ideal future would include sharing more of our lives like friends, hobbies, and more significant experiences like travel. It would also include stable and promising material circumstances.
Design: we need to be more consistent in our shared understanding of our relationship status and trajectory. I need to establish myself in terms of career, housing, and personal affairs to be a more reliable partner.
Destiny: we can commit to this by having more regular and open conversations about our feelings, needs, and hopes in the relationship. I can commit to this by taking practical steps each day to address my circumstances.
Beat parts: shared passions, great chemistry, mutual attraction and respect, both of have been through some stuff and are self aware, both very athletic, enjoy being active together and also just being with each other.
Dream: We’ve each said we’re looking for a life partner (we’ve both been divorced). I can imagine us traveling for the sports we share, and we’ve talked about what other activities we can do together. And the possibility of kids. But also I’m open to figure out together what our life can be instead of having my own vision and trying to make that happen.
Design: because of where we each are in our lives (she’s in the middle of divorce and much younger; I have kids and my divorce is amicable but much more complicated), the biggest steps I can take are to give her the time and space to get to a place where she’s ready to commit, and try to clear up my own schedule to work with hers.
Destiny: I’ve already committed to doing what I can to make this happen. It’s not at all easy and I’ve started therapy again to deal with baggage and feelings that arose that I either thought were behind me or I didn’t expect. It’s hard not to be able to jump in and go full speed—but she needs to go slower for a number of reasons and it can be (but shouldn’t be) painful for me to go slower than I like. But I’m ok making the extra effort since I know what she’s been through in the past and she needs time to get back into the right place for a serious relationship.
Discovery:
Best parts of a relationship are the shared experiences, shared values, shared principles, joy, love, and the support thru hard time.
Dream: I would like a woman who I will commit to to have similar values and principles. Only then do I want children. I keep a high standard. I will have many options until I find one that I know will align to this. I discern this dedication to love from “settling down” out of neediness or lack of options.
Design: I keep a very active sex life and dating life. I keep myself on the masculine edge of life and make myself very attractive to women who can discern the value. Take care of money, health, social life, and spiritual life.
Destiny: I commit to this thru alignment to everything in my life to living true to what is valuable to me. I create the community in which this mindset is the basis of the philosophy of life.
Discovery
Enjoy spending quality time together, laughing together, exercising together, we both have similar shared life goals and both have long term career plans that are achievable
Dream
It’s still new, so I’d look forward to sharing more of our lives together, including friends and doing things like double dates or going away together
Design
I want to be a solid base for her. I need to make sure I’m open in my communication and don’t loose myself in the relationship and become codependent. That means making sure I put up boundaries and respect my own boundaries too. This will be beneficial for us both in the long term.
Destiny
I think opening up to her about some things would be a good start, which I have begun to do. I also think that when it comes to my exams I need to be better about boundaries as well and make it clear when I’m studying and can’t be reached.
1 Like
Discovery: great sex, caring bond, exploring, adventures, support
Dream: have a partner who has great values, works hard, makes herself proud, exercises, is loving
Design: keep working on myself, therapy; exercise, meditation, inner growth
Destiny: consistency !
3 Likes
Discovery: having fun, flirting, showing desire
Dream: great sex, great intimacy, great communication, great support
Design: be more playful, communicate better, be honest with sexual issues, worry less and be more confident
Design: continue to improve and focus on committing to my goals
1 Like
Discovery: laughing together, exploring new places, raising our kids as a team, explorative intimacy
Dream: regular intimacy, travel and fun through connection. A healthy family that bonds
Design: leaning into bids for communication and connection more. Having more time for ourselves away from kids. More time travelling as a family and a couple.
Destiny: commit to be more invested in connection. Take time to have fun together and share passions. Travel more.
Discovery: flirty, close connection, very open with eachother, honest, not judgement from either one, support from one another
Dream: being flirty, great sex, open and honest about any sexual issues,
Design: keeping the honesty and community up and not avoiding the tough/uncomfortable conversations surrounding our sex life
Destiny: making sure that I keep commenting on our sex life to make it a non-taboo topic and very easy to talk about, and keep being flirty and lean into bids for connection
Discovery: Mutual understanding, fun, teammates, support, joking around, adventure, discovering, growing together, communication
Dream: Care for each other no matter what, love is present and checked in, strong family bond, great communication, balance is key in everything. We take care of each other, we joke around, go around the mundane and boring things of life but conscious enough that we know that we love each other
Design: being mindful about our bonds, our needs and how it evolves through time, knowing that we have a rock that supports us. Be present
Destiny: work on myself, and be completely present onto what is going on with my life and people around me, work on my current bonds and my self, to know how to have and strengthen my current relationships
Discovery: humor, flirty, great sex, a great life we’ve built together
Dream: frequent sex, more confident and clear communication, more non-sexual intimacy, reciprocation in turning towards bids
Design : hide/leave out less in my honest communication, try to turn toward my partners’ bids more often
Destiny: currently in counseling to work on our relationship, particularly intimacy and communication issues