Am I with the wrong person?

I really love my girlfriend. We have never had a very exciting sex life even in the beginning. But now it is virtually dead.

I started this course because I thought that ED might have put me off sex generally and that this might just be a personal pattern (my previous relationships have lasted 2 years max and I always lost interest in sex after the first 6m or so).

I am now wondering if I am with the wrong person (ie I am picking the wrong people).

The course assumes that there is a level of attraction implicit between two people and that once the psychological issues causing ED are gone, the sex life will come back.

My question is - how do I know if I have an ED issue or a more basic compatibility issue?



These are really common challenges in long-term relationships, but I can see why you’re wondering if the pattern is a sign of you picking the wrong partner.

Keep going in the Mojo program. I think these courses and the exercises in them will really help you:

  • Boost your libido
  • Engineer your arousal
  • Fantasy training
  • Communicate for a better bond

Lots of guys that go to a sex therapist need more than just anxiety management — they need to get back in touch with their sexual side and their libido until they’re happy with their sex life. It’s worth exploring the information in these courses and trying the exercises to see what happens.

If that doesn’t help, then you can take another look at whether you’re happy with the way your relationship is and whether there’s another situation you’d like to be in. There are more solutions than staying as things are or breaking up with someone you love. Perhaps you two could work on your sex life and other types of intimacy together. You have a lot of agency to change things in any direction — it’s just helpful to reflect on what the real “problem” is to be sure about your way forward.

Let us know how things turn out for you and if the courses I mentioned help.

Good luck :hugs: