So I’ve been on this app for a bit and I’m enjoying it so far. I really do feel like it’s been helping out with most of my anxieties and insecurities. My problem is I haven’t been able to test it out any of the skill sets I’ve learned from this app.
And I’ll be honest, it’s on me.
I’ve met plenty of women lately and gotten a few numbers here and there, but I’m scared to seal the deal.
I can’t help but worry about how I may lose my erection or embarrass myself during sex cause it’s been so long (about two years).
I miss sex and want to just finally get back to enjoying it, but I’m still scared to try again. It’s like I’m holding myself back.
Anyone else ever feel stuck in a similar situation and have any advice on how you broke out of that cycle?
3 Likes
I understand you. I had a girlfriend that I started out with having a terrible time with erections (shes hot as hell thats not the issue) Ive been suffering from Performance anxiety since Highschool. I guess the only thing that I know for a fact helped me was telling her my worries. She decided to focus her time on me and make me feel completely relaxed with no worries or shame during sex. After she started doing that My erection problems just disappeared for 4 years. Well we broke up for other non related reasons and I fell back into this phase. The majority of the time it really is the scare of being shamed and I understand it and hate it
4 Likes
Thank you. I appreciate the words, they really do help.
1 Like
I can relate, it’s been about 3 years for me. After a recent round of dating I’ve been taking a break and I might re assess my goals. It might sound a little cynical so take it with a pinch of salt, but I’ve been considering: changing my goals - instead of looking for the women of my dreams perhaps I can just date a nice girl who I find attractive and is keen on me. This can take the pressure off for sex: when I feel more neutral about a woman. Dating multiple women can also do this. Secondly I’m considering visiting a sex worker to get my “first time” out the way after so long
2 Likes
It is very normal to feel an anxiety about whether it is ‘going to work?’ or will I just be a disappointment again after all this work? Hopefully you have been managing to get into your body and out of your head with the waxing & waning and mindful masturbations. Hopefully you will be feeling confident that you can get an erection, using erotic thoughts and enjoying the stimulation of touch. It will be important to plan your next encounter. Try not to rush things, if you feel brave, try and mention that previously you have had problems, it would be good if we can take it slowly, with touch and foreplay to allow you to get into it and relax. You will know now that erections can go but they can come back. So taking things slowly, communication if you can and making sure you choose someone you find attractive and don’t have too much booze and perhaps refrain from climaxing for a few days before. Hope this makes sense? Good luck : )
5 Likes
Interesting take on the neutral dating.
This definitely helped! Thank you for the kind words and advice.
1 Like
I have avoided relationships for a similar reason. However, I learned something recently when having sex after starting mojo: a lot of our partners are VERY eager to help us. I spent years trying to jerk off if I go soft. To the point where other guys would push my hands away. Combined with the box breathing, trusting someone else to find a solution can be a lot of fun. They can use their imagination and you can focus on your breathing while they help.
Thanks for your post. Similar situation with me. I’ve not had penetrative sex since my late wife died (traumatically, by her own hand) now over 4 yrs ago. Had a couple of encounters with mixed experiences, and a handful of dates that haven’t led anywhere (various reasons). I’m left with 3 children, the youngest who’s autistic so have little time to offer. Guess I’m being patient, using the app, finding pleasure in myself, hoping verging on trusting the right thing will happen with the right person at the right time.
51. Size 10. No banana for scale.
1 Like